Noel Ellis's Official Blog

I wield the pen to explore the vastness of the human mind

Category: SUICIDE

ANN DAATA IS NO MORE

The farmers went back after their protest, so did their news from every TV channel. Out of news is out of mind and who cares actually. The magic wand of “false promises” from the Mai Baap has relieved the farmers of all the debts and met all their demands it seems.

 

For an urban chap like me, he just needs easy money. Give him enough to buy a home, a car, a good bank balance, a well balanced family and children studying in best schools, a good job. Electricity 24×7, garbage cleaned and recycled automatically, air which is pollution free, all criminals behind bars and all pending court cases resolved. Where am I in all this? I am the urban dreamer.

 

I want the police to lodge complaints automatically. I want a good, cheap and fast transportation system. Even the auto I travel in needs to be air-conditioned. I don’t want any traffic jams. I want every red light turn green when I come.  My train should fly. My plane should never be late. My Sabziwala should have each and every variety of vegetable and fruit, irrespective whether I buy it or not, just for me to feel good.

 

When I go to a shop, I should find tooth paste from 10 gm to a 500 gm of all companies. I should get something free with every purchase. Malls should only be for window shopping. There should be no waiting at any restaurant. I go, I sit, I order and food should be served before I finish reading the menu. The bill should be reasonable and I should not have to tip. Parking for cars & toll should be free. All my documentation should be automatically updated and I should be treated like a VIP.

 

My bank balance should be healthy; if I spend, it should automatically be topped up. My bai should always be on time, never take leave and do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, dusting and dishes perfectly. She should not ask for any Vim or a broom. My kitchen should have all the ingredients of “Sanjeev Kumar’s” kitchen and bai to cook better than him. My TV should be huge, tata sky HD should be free, my mobile data should be unlimited and my mobile should automatically recharge when it hits the fifty percent mark.

 

If this is what I want, then let me get to the farmer again. That poor chap is in debt. He doesn’t have water for his crops. How does my vegetable vendor keep what I desire? I want purest fresh milk. Well, there is no fodder for the animal. I want best quality flour and rice, how do I get it? I want sugar but sugarcane is being procured from the farmer below cost price. I want potato chips but the potatoes are rotting in the fields as the cost of uprooting them is not viable. Even if I collect them, the price of transportation is beyond my means. Even if I transport them, the road conditions are such that potatoes cannot reach the correct market without breakdowns, delays and middle men and there are no cold stores.

 

I decide to approach my elected representative; he suggests organising a rally in protest. We gather people and walk for days in the scorching sun. We don’t care if we have food or water. We do not have any media coverage either. We are frail, old and weak.  Someone gives us food, someone water, someone slippers and we reach our destination with blistered and blood oozing feet. The Chief Minister meets our representatives and gives an assurance that what we desire will be met in the next few months. I believe him and thank him. They now provided me a free ride back to my land.

 

I sit looking at the skies. There is no change in my condition. My bank is threatening to take away my mortgaged land against which I took a loan. I have ten mouths to feed. I wait a little and then one day I take that extreme step of drinking pesticide from the bottle which I bought for my crops. Even my prayers to my God and my MAI BAAP the government went in vain. I better meet God and ask him personally what wrong have I done to deserve this life. My representatives whom I elected for a biryani and a few hundred rupees have decided not to work and not let any work happen. Let me then be my own law maker.

 

My soul leaves my body. I find media covering every corner of my village? Why is so much of police bandobast at my house? Why is the Mai Baap sitting with my family? Why am I being treated like a VIP? Why are people suddenly calling me ANN DAATA? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

7000 CRORES

Philanthropy means the desire to promote the welfare of others, expressed especially by generous donations of money to good cause. The synonyms are: benevolence, generosity, humanitarianism, public-spiritedness, altruism, social conscience, social concern, charity charitableness, brotherly love, fellow feeling, magnanimity, munificence, liberality, largess, open-handedness, bountifulness, beneficence, benignity, unselfishness, selflessness, humanity, kindness, kind-heartedness, big-heartedness, compassion, humaneness, patronage, sponsorship, backing, help, historical alms giving, literary bounty, bounteousness. The interpretations could differ, but the spirit remains the same.

As I was going through the news on the net I read somewhere that a family is going to donate 7000 crores for their philanthropic activities. My goodness Lord, firstly I am feeling tizzy hearing this amount. Secondly, I think if these notes are in 500 rupees denomination then it would be more than 14 crore notes itself. Number of Rs 500 notes needed to have a value of Rs 1 Crore = 1Crore/500= 200000. Weight of 1 Rs 500 note =1.15g, total weight of Rs 1 crore in 500 denomination = 200000 x 1.15=23000g =23Kg. Therefore 7000 crores x 23=161000 or 161 tons, if an average truck carries 20 tonnes, means 8 huge truck loads. Size of a 500 note is 66mm x 150mm, so if we lay them head to head in piles of 5 lakhs each means 140000 bundles means it is 210000 km. The distance to the moon is 3844000 km and circumference of the earth is 40075 km. Baapre! Well you can figure out the ratios on your own. My mind is boggling and boggling and eating circle after circle.

Be that as it may, if I divide this 7000 crore in my 125 crore deshwasis, we all shall have about 56 crores each in our kitty. Achhe din a gaye samjho. Leave alone the promise of 15 lakh in each account you can distribute 56 crores each. Half of India as it is doesn’t work because of berozgari, now we shall make sure the working India also stops working. Everyone will go sit and wait to finish his or her 56 crores. Even if I say I will spend 1 crore a year, at this stage when I am well past 50 years of age, I better double the spending, God knows how much time I have at my hands. A new born can live with his parents till 24 and then add another 56 years with a crore to spend a year will see him through till 80 what else does one require.

I have one question though, how much Izzat can we buy in this huge amount. My answer is zero. Izzat cannot be bought it has to be earned. Why I say this is because the people who are fighting for their Izzat to be restored need a very paltry sum from the government. The old and tired veterans need to go home as they have spent their time in hell already. The lucky ones came home and the luckier ones came back draped in the tri colour. At least they are not witnessing treatment which is being meted out to their own brethren by their government for whom they sacrificed their lives and limbs. Government may never understand Izzat, Pride and Honour, how can they understand benevolence.

Well, I am sure this amount will be a drop in the ocean for a country which is exploding from all ends. There is so much of pressure on every system that every bit contributed towards a good cause should be welcome. From infrastructure to health; from education to agriculture, from population to environment, you name a thing and we are bursting at our seams uncontrollably. We are refuting norms, throwing garbage and drainage, sewage, spewing toxic smoke everywhere. We are just living our lives and who cares about the future. If all this money is spent judiciously on a sustainable and maintainable model then I would say it would be worth it.

I saw a scheme called dial 102 for ambulances collapse. Today, most of the ambulances are rotting in junk yards in most states. There is a patient mafia, (patients are created on paper), fuel for the ambulance mafia, a telecom mafia connecting calls on the ambulance help line numbers. The issue is not the dearth of ambulances, it is the dearth of will to run and maintain them. The hospital infrastructure and cleanliness should be the top focus. The free availability of medicines and tests should be a fundamental right. They should be cheap and affordable for all. Ambulances need roads to run, not pot holes to negotiate and traffic jams to wait to clear. They need trained paramedics, even if they are idle most of the times but they are needed at crucial times, like the Armed forces.

Schools and schooling need to be sorted out. Education system needs to be focused on. Vernacular needs to turn to national education system and that should be internationally accepted. Food needs to be in good supply. No man or dog should go hungry in this country. Why should people beg? Why should they do menial jobs? Why can’t we have sustainable drinking water and electricity through out. Why farmers commit suicide? Why can’t we have non polluting industries and vehicles? Why can’t we have non corrupt people in all government machinery? Where are we lacking and why are we lacking in these? Is it because of lack of money and funds or its misuse?

Well, the answer my friend is blowing in the wind and that is the will to do it for the country. What I have written in jest about the length and weight of the currency and the distribution to individuals is not the issue, my calculations may be grossly wrong. The issue is that sir; either you sit with the government and address your benevolent issues through them or let us shut the government and start only charity to sustain this country.

I am not sure the causes you will take up, the states you will cover or for that matter people whom you are going to touch with your charity but promise me one thing sir, let not one pai get into the hands of the corrupt. Let this money be spent what it is meant for and not for getting files cleared to start your projects. Let this money be spent on the real needy, I beg of you, teach the needy how to fish and don’t start serving them fish.

I can assure you many veterans would love to join you to take your cause to its culmination. Take them on board sir, for it is difficult to corrupt them. Take them for their honesty and administrative skills. They shall not let you down. Mittal saab, I need 56 seconds of your time to read this article, will you be able to spare them, I wonder!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

WHY THIS KOLAVERI-KOLAVERI-CONTROVERSY-G

Why this controversy-controversy-controversy G? Read it in the tune of why this kolaveri-kolaveri-kolaveri D? Should I start with politics and politicians? No I shall leave them alone as I do not want to raise my blood pressure. Should I get into what is happening in the Army?  No, I don’t think I should tread into that domain, as I am not aware and competent enough to get into matters Military. So if politics which affects every sphere of our lives in some way or the other is out of my ambit and Military which gave me the olive green blood in my veins is also out of the scope, Fir bacha kya?

Well, I should not talk about any of the babaji’s and babyji’s too. Some blink too much, some dance too much, some of them talk too much, some preach too much. Some brainwash too much, some do frauds too much. In reality, if I had to become that idealistic kind of INSAAN, then I might as well sit under a bodhi tree and become a baba. Well, India is full of people who spread goodness, and there is nothing wrong, but when it starts to become a cult and people forget their own faith and lie down in such people’s feet and indeed are ready to do anything told to them is where I get a little disturbed. Well, I still maintain if it gives you inner peace: go with it. But I haven’t seen people becoming Insaans even after listening to discourses and pravachans every day. In the evening it is back to two pegs and two legs, two gaalis to the gharwali as a norm. God is worshipped for personal gains, or remembered when there is an issue in the family, otherwise a horn and a flying kiss appears to be enough for the Gods. Well, it is a matter of individual faith, and how true are you to yourself, isn’t it?

I am now going to tread into a controversy for sure. I see people offering flowers to the deity’s. Well it is a matter of belief again. I think a little differently that why the Gods should be pleased with plucked flowers. I find people plucking flowers, in fact stealing them, if I put it crudely and then offering them in the pooja thalis. I know and understand the sentiment of offering the best you have to the one who guides your life, but why ruin a beautiful flower to appease someone, who knows your intentions and may enjoy flowers better where ever they bloom. It is food for thought. Maybe I don’t follow the hindu faith and maybe I don’t understand “PUSHPAM SAMARPAYAMI”.  If they are bought from the florist it is ok with me, but if they are stolen, or plucked from peoples and common gardens, then I find it objectionable. I don’t think the Gods will be pleased by such gestures. I leave it to the wisdom of people and their faith. Flowers look best in nature, I believe.

Another thing which flashes across my mind that why do we have to expect something in return from whom so ever we have faith in? Why can’t we have a clean conscious and have a straight mind? The whole day we calculate our finances and ways and means to somehow earn an extra buck. I am not saying that everyone is unfair, but we are into that “ninyanvay ka chakkar”. Why can’t we stop at ekaanvay or even lesser amount? I say this as I just heard that parents who scolded their child so much when he reported that a debit card fraud has happened with him. He gave his debit card number to someone and that fellow made two transactions quickly before this boy realised it. He truthfully confessed to his parents and they mounted on him like a ton of bricks as if heaven has fallen on earth. The poor boy got so scared that he committed suicide day before and is no more. They parents are good people. I hear Aarti in their home every day and I know they follow a guru very devotedly, and I also know they calculate every penny and why not. End result has been a tragedy of such kind for just 15000 rupees. My stomach churned up on hearing it as I knew the boy so well. A well read, tall, 25 year old handsome boy he was. Well, that is destiny. God bless his soul, and God bless the family. Parents please don’t get hyper on any such issues, the pain becomes unbearable, the loss becomes irreplaceable and the stigma attached will never go. Precious life has gone to rest with God forever.

So ladies and gentlemen, no more controversy G & no more kolaveri D. May peace be with all of you and your families. May this festive season bring joy peace and happiness in your lives, may you be blessed, and may good sense prevail in every one of us and especially those who run our country. My family joins me in wishing you and your families a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New year.

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