This world yoga day I got tired of doing “SHAV ASANA”. So I decided that from Monday, I must add a few more asanas to my kitty. I started my day, I broke wind and it was a very loud one which shook my wife up from her deep sleep. I am told that unknowingly I did a “PAWANMUKT ASANA”. Oh great! Not that I suffer from any stomach upset because I had this gush of wind coming out from my rear I was a little upset. I calculated it backwards, that why so much of wind was set free at such an unearthly hour. To my surprise it led me to the afternoon lunch the previous day, where we had ordered sizzlers. They were pure vegetarian with broccoli, baby corn, okra, egg plant, spinach, cottage cheese and the works. I realized my system is not used to eating vegetables, thus the wind was in protest by my intestinal system against the sudden change of culinary habits and I accepted it and have decided that I won’t deviate from the normal in future.

Be that as it may, I am just a lethargic kind of yogi. I want to do it on my own & in my own sweet time. I have an allergy with forced programmes, with artificiality, with showmanship, with everything which is done to be forgotten the next day. For national events, I am sure the rugs had been purchased for dual purposes. Yes, once we finish this event, it would be given to “Tommy”, who has been sleeping on carpet all these years. This rug will be used to dry all sorts of dals and achars in the balcony. Worst come to worst it will be used as a cover of the motorcycle. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I can vouch for many treadmills, indoor cycles etc as they land up being used as clothes hangers.

I agree that India has been a pioneer in yoga but I have a basic issue here. I want India to do yoga of the mind first. I want Indians to cleanse the mind of all hatred, ill feelings and corruption. Where do I find an asana for such yoga?

Let’s have a hatred mukt asan. In which everyone from all castes & creed can sit together and enjoy the fruits of yoga. Everyone is treated equally. We should dine at the same table irrespective of what we eat or wear. Our Mazhabs never teach apas main bair rakhna then why are we hell bent on slitting each other’s throats.

Let us also introduce and anti-corruption asan. Moment anyone tries to take or give bribe or do things which have an angle of corruption should automatically start twisting and entwining on his own till the time he is squeezed so badly that he pledges never to do anything like that again.

No appeasement & no false promise asan. Come elections and this bimari spreads like wild fire. We will bring such and such type of days may not be that achhe. We will bring all the money which is disguised in the colour “noir” and convert into “blanc”. Such promises should never be allowed.

I out of curiosity opened a website which gives English equivalent names of Sanskrit asans and I found them quite interesting. Let me mention a few like the Bhardvaja twist asan. Indian politics is only about twists and more twists. Let us untwist them for the common man to get his do waqt ki roti.

I saw one called the “utkasana” or the “chair pose”. I don’t know about the pose but the chair I find is the fulcrum of all elections. “Kissa kursi ka” as they call it. All politicians should be able to do this asana to qualify to sit on one. The Child pose or the balasana caught my eye. Countrymen, let us leave our children to live as children. To enjoy have fun and frolic, no child should be subjected to torture and trauma of rape. Cobra pose or bhujangasana should be for our enemy. Let’s bite our enemies like cobras both internal and external including the invisible enemies of polarization.

Ultimately, why do we do all this twisting and turning around for? It is to hold the mind stable, to keep calm and flexible, to stay mentally alert and disease free. If yoga helps us to be good & healthy human beings, why not give it a try. The irony is that when in our country we practice so much of yoga then why is it that we are still not at peace with ourselves. Why is the yoga just a “Dhakosla” or we really don’t understand its powers? I wonder!!!!!!!!


© Noel Ellis