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I just happened to flick channels the other day and saw one Brigadier of the Pakistan Army whispering something in the ear of Mr Nawaz Sharif in the SCO meeting while the latter was delivering his speech. It reminded me of the hindi song “JAANE KYA TUNE KAHI, JANE KYA MAINE SUNI” (I don’t know what you said and I don’t know what I heard). I think it became a matter of conjecture for the media that what must he have whispered that the PM had to pull out his ear plug from the left ear and listen to the Brigadier from the right one. During the process, why did Nawaz Sharif raise his eye brows as if something big might have happened back home? Well, there could be many theories on the issue, so let me also speculate a few matters of National importance for the Military Secretary (MS) to whisper in the PMs ear in the middle of an address.

I kept scratching my head and am sharing a few, that sir your favourite bitch has littered, or your SUV has been stolen, or sir tuhadi MAJH suu gayi hai (your buffalo has given birth to a JHOTA or calf). Well, I think this is too much reading between the lines. Then I pondered that would this whisper be to say that Pakistan has launched 100 terrorists from POK. Well, that is a routine that Pakistan has adopted and is facing the music the way Indian Army has unleashed its intolerance to terrorism and cease-fire violations recently.

There are a few more shockers that the Brigadier could have given him. One was that sir WAPDA (Water and Power Development Authority of Pakistan) has just intimated that electricity has come to the PMs Residence. The frown on Nawaz Sharif’s face clearly showed that kind of surprise that is it possible? Another thing which the Brigadier may have whispered in his ears that madam has just whatsapped that the water in the main Tanki has finished. The frown was justified because he had made the irrigation minister personally responsible to keep Madam Sharif well bathed in his absence. He later realised that madam was accompanying him then who the hell is this new “begum” sending messages from his bathroom to his MS.

I think matters would be more serious than this. Oh yes, it is our national problem too. Madam could have sent a message that today the Bai has not come. All heavens would have broken lose in Pakistan because PMs Bai is absent. The whole of MS branch must be busy posting one as replacement. Following this another bai would have messaged the Brigadier that what would the PM like to have for dinner, “Bharwan-Bhindi” or “vegetarian Biryani? I heard he is a vegetarian. For which the MS would have to interrupt the speech so that he could intimate her keeping the duration of flight and the time the Dum Biryani would require cooking. The worst news could be that now after the Panama leaks the Suez leaks have been revealed to the world in which some person called Nawaz Sharif is the main accused. Or was it that the PM is no more the PM as General Javed Bajwa has taken over because he too is fed up of power cuts and every time a presentation on Indian Army is given to him the bloody lights go off. Well it all boils down to, jane kya tune kahi?

One of the news readers pointed out that the MS came to tell the PM that transport to depart to the airport is ready. How ridiculous can ridiculous be? PM wants a Brigadier to keep him informed about his transport. What a luxury it is! Then I kept thinking what was his Military Secretary doing in a conference which has got to do with nothing military in the first place. A very powerful leader of a country with a mighty military called China did not have his personal body guards so to say and here Nawaz Sharif has a Brigadier doing his transport coordinator. I am impressed.

On a serious note, I was also thinking that the urgency to inform the PM right in the middle was to tell him in those 19 seconds that Sir Cdr Kulbhushan Yadav has escaped from our custody and is in Indian hands. Our game is up; transport is waiting outside, let us run moment you finish before the Indian PM tears us apart.  You may like to make a statement against India now and then let us scoot. Well, my conjecturing and guessing can have no end nor will the news debates stop discussing it. This mystery can only be solved by the two people involved and no one else. I shall wait for the confessions in a book.

I think I should leave it there as it cannot be a Brigadier coordinating transport for the PM at an international meeting in any case. Let them play the game of “Chinese whispers” the Pakistani khus-phus way? I can understand that these Pakis can only speak in whispers when Indian PM is present, so why are we interested in their whispering affairs, I wonder!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis