Noel Ellis's Official Blog

I wield the pen to explore the vastness of the human mind

Tag: GST

INDIA IS A BIG KUTUMBH

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go to site go here http://web-impressions.net/fister/2138 INDIA IS A BIG KUTUMBH

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watch We are a huge joint family with all Chacha’s, Mama’s, Taya’s, Bhai, Bhatija’s, their children and grand children staying under one roof. The “Bade Papa” is a chronic bachelor who decides everything for the house. The family now has got very complex as it has people of all religions, castes, creeds and professions as part of this extended “kutumbh” called India.

Our neighbours are quite hostile. They were part of the big joint family but decided to separate ways. The head of the family gave them some land to settle. Now besides fighting almost on a daily basis they have started throwing a lot of “garbage” across our fence. The other neighbour belongs to a different race and wants to keep grabbing our land.

The huge problem “bade papa” is facing that the family is growing at a very rapid pace and uncontrollably. The mouths to feed are increasing by the day and resources are limited. So to somehow manage the household Papa has told each member of the family to contribute to the central pool of income. Families (States) will be given some part of finances and balance will come to his pool (GST).

The farming brethren are in dire straits. People in this profession are feeling neglected. Then there are people who are the protectors of the family. They too are fed up of inimical neighbours and the rebels within but papa is yet to decide how to tackle them as he feels that things may get sorted out by peaceful means. Let’s wait and see.

Many youth of the family are educated unemployed or uneducated unemployed. Quite a few of these guys have become rebels due to frustration. Loads of them decided to go to foreign lands. It’s a different issue that only a few are well settled. Some of them have taken up arms against the family.

In far off lands bade-papa has a very good reputation as he visits very often. They hero worship him and believe he can take this family to greater heights.  He also pleads to them to contribute to the family’s development by sending money and investing.  How people and countries are responding to his call, I am not sure.

There is another issue in the family that some of the chachas and mama’s are very orthodox. The Bahu-Betis are having an issue. “Sir dhak ke rakho” kinds. These people see things through their perspective and lay down dictates for who can meet whom, what to wear, what to read, what to eat, whom to marry etc. They do read scriptures but don’t follow what they preach. All family members who converted to other religions are hounded & even lynched. Bade-Papa does condemn it but can’t control such people. Is it on purpose? I don’t know.

He has a set of elders (ministers), who help him run the house assisted by some more family members (bureaucrats or brats) who actually control the whole system. The brats are far more educated than the elders. Papa has got after the brats but if they revolt the family will come to a standstill. So he is trying to push them hard. How hard? Time will tell.

Papa also speaks to the family once in a while from his heart and “man”. Papa is a stickler for cleanliness (Swach Bharat and Shauchalya). He appears to be worried as the rebellious people (opposition) are stalling his good work but the family moves on.

Time now is approaching to choose a new head of the family. People actually are in two minds whether to vote him out or stay with him. People do not see a strong alternative either. The “Bari-Mama” is projecting her son who fails to impress.

Family members are complaining about everything, from prices, to petrol, to high taxes. The “media family” appears to be biased, if not sold. Corruption at higher levels may be under control but at lower levels is rampant. The whole family appears unhappy in more ways than one.

Family wants the promised achhe din but papa’s dream has not been able to materialise into reality as yet. Which family or family member is actually benefitting and who all are left out. I can’t say.

Today, the kutumbh and its systems have become too unwieldy and super complicated.  Bade-Papa is in a dilemma as he cannot displease one family member at the cost of other. There is a need for a game changing, strong and effective head of the family who can unite this entire household as one. As they say Vasudevah Kutumbhkam. I feel bade papa now also needs to concentrate on Vasudev Kutumbh “Kam”. Bade-Papa is leading by example. Got it? I wonder!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

DREAMING OF BUDGET 2019

 

http://www.newmen.eu/mysoroj/viosa/1269 DREAMING OF BUDGET 2019

As budget is approaching I am getting a little excited. At least this year I hope to add a few bucks to my savings without the government poking its nose and sniffing out every rupee I save. Not that a single pai is hidden from them. Everything is in their knowledge and everything is taxed, my pay, my pension, my FDs, even my arrears too have been “axed” at source. I actually get a little sceptic when I do not see achhe din (AD) on the horizon even after being taxed so heavily.

Definition of AD will vary from person to person. A farmer will give you a very different story; a soldier will tell you his version. For an industrialist it is the EBITDA (Earnings before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation and Amortisation) or whatever that means, for me is what have I saved at the end of the month after paying all undy-fundy taxes and EMIs.

I, the common man needed a roof on my head that meant I take a home loan that meant I live from EMI to EMI. The bank is charging me exorbitant interest. After having paid my loan for ten years now I still find I have yet not paid the full interest back. By when will I pay the principal amount, intrigues me?

Just in case I kicked the bucket the banks insisted that you insure every EMI. I did that at a premium. Then one fine day the bank approached me that the interest rates have reduced will you be interested in changing your plan. My face lit up and I fell for it and I paid a premium again. When I checked the bank’s website recently it still doesn’t say that the tenure of your loan has been reduced. I spoke to my inner self and decided to just stay happy. At least I have a roof on my head.

The story doesn’t end here as I stay far away from my home. I pay society & maintenance charges every month. If I miss out they charge me interest. Besides they have installed an electricity meter recently, though I have yet not fitted a single light bulb but have to pay the electricity bill with a penalty. I think I will have to live with it.

The situation today is that during the good old days gol-guppa’s were ten to a rupee which is exactly the opposite today. I wish the value of my money too would have sky rocketed the same way. The only saving grace is that our thelawala doesn’t charge GST but go to a restaurant you have no choice but to pay for the sake of your country.

This is a crucial year for the government so I also expect it to be a popular budget. After all it is a question of our votes for elections 2019. I can be rest assured there would be some more taxes. I am hopeful though I should get some relief on the direct taxes that I pay. Some slabs will be tampered with, some good English will be spoken in the parliament, some boo-booing will happen and the budget will be passed. Rest of the sessions will be drowned in the usual hungama that happens. Common mans “uncommon representative” would do a “peaceful but boisterous” protest. Parliamentary proceedings will be disrupted. Sessions will be adjourned in the garb of democratic rights by loud sloganeering and walking out to have their hot cuppa tea, can’t expect much from them.

Cigarette smokers will stock up fags as they know particular brands will be in short supply. The pan wala will ensure more than adequate stocks are available including home delivery but at a premium. Same will be the case with wine shops. Everybody knows that these are two items will be taxed to the hilt. Will it reduce the number of smokers and drinkers is a different matter altogether?

Somehow, the common man is the biggest stake holder in the unorganised sector as per the PM. From a labourer to a fisherman, to a helper in a garment shop, to an outsourced housekeeper everyone has big hopes from the government. The industrialist, the entrepreneur, the auto wala to a bus river to a brick klin worker all want to live well, all want to educate their children, all want safe drinking water and good health services above all they all want to save a little for the marriage of their children, if not the rainy day.

If DAVOS will help I have no issues, if BHRAMOS will help I have no issues either but if every Indian has to vote for a “false promise” of achhe din then I have an issue. If communal politics will be the foundation of our democracy then I have an issue as well? Will someone clarify? I wonder!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

CHAI LASSI AND KHICHIRI WHEN MIXED MAKES GST

I am totally enlightened after a marathon session of changes in the GST announced by the FM yesterday on TV. So far so that even if I don’t like to pay even a pai as tax I have been motivated to pay advance GST till the time this government’s tenure is over. You may ask me why? Well, let me pay it and be done with it. Tomorrow if the council decides to increase the rates I will just have to pay only the difference, in any case if tax rates are lowered I am on the safe side. Thora ziada de bhi diya to koi vanda nahi.

I used to love saying abracadabra, as what will come out of jaitley ki kaitley is never known. The kaitley is symbolic for dishing out chai, isn’t it. Naturally when his boss is an expert on this beverage his FM better dole out the best but I found him making lassi earlier and now it is khichri of kinds.

Actually my mind got all mixed up with this fresh GST announcement. I also found GST being diluted in a way or was it catering for some state elections. The spiced up concoction which was laid for the country turned out to be unpalatable for many. Thus as the lady of the house does on the quiet, once she gets the taste of it she tells the bai thora pani daal do. Two things happen then. The same now can be eaten with ease by more people & many can be satisfied with the quantities given out. The choice is spicy khichri, less spicy khichri or watery khichri. You better eat what is served. Right!

In the same breadth, I have an apprehension that if the govt finds that the tax collection is reducing now, as now government will be collecting Rs 20,000 crores less, so how will this loss be made up. Possibly some khichiri ingredients might be tempered with. Say if you can afford a room of more than Rs 7000 a night clearly indicates one is in the top bracket of pay packets, therefore, the government may tell you to pay additional before you check in. Government will make up its numbers by hook or by crook. I have decided I will find a relative or a friend in case I have to go somewhere, Jaitley ji you can keep spicing up your khichiri, I will find a jugad to circumvent it.

I have also decided not to use after shave. Sir, I shall go back to the good old days to use “Fitkari” after shaving. Perfumes I cannot afford. I shall try not to smell bad so you better provide me AC trains to commute. Reduced taxes on Chewing gum may only reduce bad odour from my mouth.

You will be glad to know that I don’t pay any “sin” tax. I kicked the habit of smoking and drinking long ago. The beauty is that you cannot charge me tax for calling you names. Till date I tried my best, worked hard and sincerely paid my taxes. I could never reach the figure of One crore including assets and property in my name. Business acumen I do not have but the only business I love to do is to love my country. A few lakhs which I have saved for enjoying in future I might as well use up fast or else tomorrow you might levy another tax on me.

I find that what you do is smart jiggrey-poggrey of words. The council you have created is responsible for all that you announce and not the government per se. The centre has 1/3rd votes, rest 2/3rd are with the states. Every state has one vote irrespective of its size. Decisions are made by 3/4th majority. 18 states you already have in your kitty. Life is balle balle for the government. BJP states cannot say no, centre government votes are secure then if you mix water in the khichiri or ghee makes no difference. Even if the Khichri becomes all meshed up due to overcooking that no ingredient is recognisable makes no difference either as there is no way one can avoid it.

My only humble submission to you is sir; I don’t mind you experimenting with the country’s money. However, the common man needs respite from exorbitant prices of everything. He wants to taste this khichri but the poor fellow is not capable to reach the dining table. The government can if it wants to add the best of tarka but why is the government taking back so much tax from us. Besides why are the basic ingredients like dal, chawal, namak, haldi getting out of hand of a common man? I wonder!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

IN CONVERSATION WITH CATHERINE

Catherine and I were driving down to Alibaug over the weekend when we struck up a conversation. I was listening to the stereo and my wife was appreciating the music system and the stereo effects. Catherine was not enjoying the drive at all; actually the same was the case with me. Reasons were many. One was the dilapidated condition of the road and the pot holes. Besides, the village dogs accosting us barking at their loudest and snarling with their dirty teeth. Hens along with their chicks thought the road was for them.  Worst of all was the chaotic traffic jams. Above all the weekend crowd who were pouring into our territory by the dozens. They were blocking traffic in garb of purchasing something or asking for directions in these narrow alleys. Quite a frustrating kind of a drive it was all in low gear.

I ignored her and kept my concentration on driving but there were pieces of the conversation which kept striking me again and again as she asked me the first question. Have you paid road tax? I said yes and that to a hefty amount. After a pause she asked me, why are there so many pot holes then? I had no answer. She told me, Noel, please take me out on a long and majestic drive, where the road surface is smooth, maybe on expressways where the thrill of driving can be enjoyed. It appears that here every time we venture out she is worried about checking out how long will the suspension hold and she told me that this way it won’t take long to give away. I just kept quiet and listened.

The next question she asked me that do you pay toll tax? I told her yes and where ever my ID card works I don’t. She said never mind, you have actually paid life time toll tax by serving the Indian Army, so I won’t ask you again, however, she continued to say that where does this toll money  collected  from the other vehicles disappear. I said I don’t know and continued focusing on the oncoming traffic and the huge potholes.

I was wondering to myself, that last year I saw lot of work going on this road. I used to have a smooth ride but where has the road vanished. This must be happening year after year and taxes which were being collected going down the drain. I again started to listen to the stereo and this time I changed the channel of my choice. I got lost in the music and lyrics as we were getting close to our destination.

Catherine was in a chirpy mood and threw another question at me. She said do you pay income tax? I replied in the affirmative. I am sure that some portion of that must also be allocated to the development of infrastructure in this country. I said surely it must be the case, I am not sure of the percentages. She appeared to be questioning the government head on. She continued to quiz me, see why there are so many accidents on the road? I said reckless driving! She said yes, just then two bikes whizzed past overtaking us from the wrong side and missed hitting us by a whisker. The basic reason is that the infrastructure is not being planned as per our expansion of population she said. I could not agree with her more. Her observation was that our population is exploding and so is purchase of vehicles but government is not making better and broader roads. I said yes. After a while she said, it is time for the government to wake up and I just kept mum.

A little ahead Catherine again poked me. I said now what and she said, you pay income tax, professional tax, GST and all the other taxes which the tax man can think of. I replied to her that it appears that you have got hold of a book on finance. She wanted to know where each and every pie went. I actually didn’t know. I looked at the setting sun from out of the window and thought to myself that yes she is right; over these years I couldn’t even hide one paisa of my income and all my taxes go down the drain, without much of accountability and returns.

At last Catherine blurted, I don’t want to be a dented and painted car for no fault of mine. I told her that I shall definitely convey her concerns to the people who matter. I then requested her to just keep quiet for a while as my wife watched the moon rise from the other side. I switched over to John Denver singing “Country Roads, take me home”, on the car stereo.

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

GABBAR AMONGST US

I like the way we were introduced to new acronym called GABBAR SINGH TAX (GST). True to the governments decree the situation in the country now is such that the Adhar is the new Udhaar, as banks will not give you a loan without verifying it. Ration cards give us no rations; gas subsidy has become gaseous and evaporated into thin air. Interest on FDs is shrinking by the day. One day I might have to pay the banks for leaving my money idle. Mutual funds are subject to market risks and I am averse to risks; even the kabaddi players are telling us that. For me stock is either chicken stock or vegetable stock. It at least adds to the taste and flavour of the food. However this GST has made the taste buds of every Indian go numb. Why? Only one Indian knows and that is Gabbar. Samba does the maths, Gabbar does the announcement and Ramgarh (India) feels the tremors.

Today, the Government has become a kind of Gabbar Singh with a soul aim of extracting their pound of flesh from the common man. That is how it appears to me. Thanks to the dynamic prices of petrol and diesel, it is now better to walk to office. Life has become so uncertain that one is not sure whether one will be able to cross a foot over bridge alive or not. If a person drinks milk, will it be pure as milk is supposed to be or will it be adulterated, no one knows. One may be lynched for keeping a big moustache. People won’t know the difference if I drive zig-zag in broad daylight on an empty road and may get beaten up for drunk driving, whereas I may be just avoiding potholes.

Be that as it may, the optimism which the new government had brought is diminishing every day. They may claim work is being done full speed, fine. I only want to understand then why are the prices skyrocketing at break neck speed. I do want to thank the government for the 7th pay commission and bringing to life my dead mobile phone. Well yes the sms alert from the bank stating “peanuts” have been credited to my account gives me that sense of accomplishment that see I have been able to juice out the government, not realising that the government is “my baap”. They know how to squeeze the aam admi that leaves him wondering whether to buy food or whether to clothe himself. Seriously, the mango man doesn’t know whether he is coming or going.

Today, one doesn’t know whom to believe in, as someone wants me to invest in mutual funds telling you “sahi hai”. The insurance agent comes out with plans like jeevan dhara, jeevan suraksha, jeevan bima, blah-blah-blah. You keep putting money for twenty five years and at the end of it the value of money is lesser than what you invested. The only favour you may do to your family is to kick the bucket well before its maturity as they claim “jeevan ke baad bhi”.

Deepika and gang emphasise to paint your walls with such a paint which purifies the air. Hello madam, if I had so much of money I would buy an air purifier first. Sachin tells me to buy “live pure”, in fact he coaxes India by saying come on India, live pure. Brother with great difficulty Acqua-Guard lagaya hai, now you want me to change the damn system. Municipality mar gayi hai kya that they can’t provide me safe, clean and pure drinking water. Waise, I have a choice to go with Hema Mailini also. I love the way she models for Kent.

Today, I can just about afford a cutting chai because it is spared from GST. I wish to save money by cutting that small cup further into half. No one had designed such a small use and throw cup unless we start recycling coca cola caps for drinking tea due to affordability reasons. The pinch of prices is hurting each and everyone now. With every passing day the aam admi is finding simple necessities of life getting out of hand. Matter of factly the common man is being made to dance like “Basanti”. The government sits and watches the entertainment show and taxes him mentally, physically, emotionally and financially to the hilt. The janta is getting tired of dancing to such tunes, in fact diktats.

Some promised achhe din, some promised India shining, some promised whatever. The aam admi now is so scared of Gabbar that moment he opens his mouth people get goose bumps out of fear the next surprise he may spring. I will keep mum as I have no choice but to bear the inconvenience. Gabbar can modify his dialogue to “kitney taxes the”. Will he? I can only wonder!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

PM SHOOTING RAVAN

It was very funny to watch Modiji shooting an arrow from the hip on dussera. I am more accustomed to him shooting volleys from the lip. Imagine, Modiji in a trench along the LoC, Pakistan (Ravan) attacking and PM desperately trying to fire his gun. Twice it misfires and the third time Modiji picks up loose bullets and throws them at the enemy. Like all good stories end, the enemy would have suffered heavy casualties and retreated, for all is well that ends well.

It reminds me of my WT (weapon training) lessons while learning our basics of 7.62mm SLR.  It was called “Rokon ko dur karna” (removing the faults). Any mechanical thing can fail, so the “ustad” used to howl,” rifle theek fire karta rukta”, (rifle stops while firing), you just had to cock it and press the trigger, 98 times out of 100 the damn thing used to fire. Then he used to say “fire nahin” (no fire), you were then supposed to check the magazine, you could have an empty magazine, reload, cock the weapon and fire. There was one very funny command called “ Ek do round ke baad rukta” (stopping after one or two rounds) and you like a monkey said “gas ki kami” and turned the gas regulator with a funny looking tool and continued firing. Then there was one command called “fir bhi fire nahi” (still your rifle doesn’t fire), then you had to check the ejected round and check the “Painda” (base) of the round and shout “Painde pe chot nahi” (no strike on the base) and then you stripped the weapon and changed the firing pin as you were taught to say “toota hua firing pin”. Good old days they were and we practiced like hell.

One used to dread in case of war or insurgency while engaging the enemy if you have a toota hua firing pin. Then you had only one choice to dauro, leto, rengo aar pakrao, firing pin change karo aur wapas fire karo. As luck would have it I only handled an AK-47 in J&K and Manipur, I never had to go through even one “rok” (stoppage) ever. Lucky me!

PM Sahib the reality is that there are many “roks” everywhere in our systems. There are “kaidas-kanoons” (rules and regulations) but no one knows how to get things done the proper way. It ultimately boils down to throwing the arrow rather than releasing it properly. This I say in terms of all the things like GST etc which are being implemented. Everyone has agreed that this (GST) needs to be fired but none of the so called experts know how will it work or how it is to be implemented. So rather than firing it “by the “seekha hua tareeka” (learnt way) as they call it in the fauj, they experiment with it. If it hits the target, well and good, if it doesn’t then they tweak the system (improvise). In the mean time our own forces (common man) suffer as they are not sure what to do in the interim.

Be that as it may, had such a SNAFU occurred in the army there would have been hell to pay? From the Table orderly to the Safai wala everyone would have been on a route march from Kashmir to Kanya Kumari and back. PMs Bow doesn’t shoot an arrow, Impossible! The person who made it would have tested it; the CHM would have tested it twice. From the Senior JCO, the Company Commander and the CO up the ladder everyone would have checked it. The Commander would have given a demo to the GOC on a FMR (Field Miniature Range) and finally the Corps Commander and the Army Commander would have been shown a live demo on the field firing ranges, where contingencies like this would have been catered for.  Even Chief’s ADC would have confirmed that all systems are working fine. A stand by arrow would have been fired and the Engineer regiment would have already catered for a demolition charge under the Ravan. How dare the arrow misfires?

Jokes apart, the reality is ladies and gentlemen, even if one has to fire dummy rounds it needs practice. So Modiji, there are big lessons for you. I know you have many things to fire for the good of this country thus lesson one, a rehearsal and a practice is definitely required. Lesson number two, get out of this notion that everything will fire perfectly because it is being fired by the PM. Things can go wrong at the last moment courtesy your advisors. Lesson three; you did not have a proper plan B in place otherwise you wouldn’t have to improvise by throwing the arrow. Lesson four, your civil Mehakma needs to pull up their socks. At such a level blunders like this are unacceptable. The PM is live on every channel shows India in poor light. Lesson six; please do not take everything and everyone for granted. Lesson seven, your confidence in tackling the situation was good but you cannot rely on instincts and take chances like this with a nation of 125 crore.

You as the top leader have to fire and fire for effect sir. Every word you fire, every policy and legislation has to be for the good of this nation. I the common man shall be observing the balance of this government’s tenure closely. We still give you the benefit of doubt. Our expectations are banking on your decisions and crack shooting Sir.  I know you are working overtime and very hard but when you fire let it be “ek goli ek dushman” (One bullet one enemy). What bullet you got to fire and who is the dushman I leave it to you to figure out. Have you understood my message? I wonder!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

JAITLEYs BREW

My views on the FMs press conference after the GST council meet

 

My dear Mr Jaitley

I have been thinking of you lately

The financial jiggrey-poggrey you do

Which only you and your staff know

Leaves the common man wondering hopelessly

 

The tax burden is such

The common man can’t do much

Except paying and shutting shop immediately

 

Your intelligent looks

Would shake any crook

To give what he took

To sew or to cook

Or else get booked indiscriminately

 

But tell me one thing

The surprises you spring

Are they meant to stream line

The sales and buying

Or is it to torture us financially

 

The traders are unsure

To follow rules or wait some more

For you to make up your mind

To save them from the grind

Which may leave them broke ultimately

 

The concoction you brew

In your kettle which isn’t new

Is giving everyone the aches at wrong places

So decide once for all

What tax is for what all

Rather leaving everyone conjecturing seamlessly.

 

The GST appears to be a pain

We don’t know will it be a boon or a bane

But one thing is pucca

The way you are giving jhatkas

The public is going insane

 

You demonetised we bore

GST added to the woes

To lump it or dump it

Left no choice with 125 crore

 

Be nice to us Mr Jaitely

Your decisions off lately

Are screwing the common man galore

Kindly give no more spins

Let us see achhe din

And be grateful to this nation immensely

 

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

CHANGE THE GOAL POST

Let us start with an assumption that we are going to use nuclear technology for peaceful purposes, nothing wrong, most of the countries are doing it. What if I say that the same nuclear technology will also be used for making bombs as a safety and security measure for my country? I sign all declarations and prove to the world that our intentions are very pious & holy but this needs to be done for the country, nothing wrong in it again. Well, time passes everything is fine and one fine day one bomb explodes and people die at a very large scale.  You then say that actually this bomb had an alternative use for a long lost dream of India called population control. You start justifying it by saying; see how many people we have reduced from this earth and from India in particular. How beneficial it is to the country, so many lesser mouths to feed, so much lesser burden on the economy and infrastructure so on and so forth. Everyone wonders if the minister justifying the explosion is in his senses or out of his wits.

What has happened here is that there has been a change of not only the goal post but change in the game itself. The venue changed, the rules and regulations were tweaked as per circumstances and in fact there was nothing original left as to why we started this whole nuclear exercise in the first place. We kept testing the waters and kept adjusting our aim and destinations as we went along as per our convenience. We used political jargon, some facts and figures, some percentages and some decimals to create an impression that what we are presenting to the public is correct and convincing. Poor public which is naive, illiterate and actually is not concerned because if the gareeb janata keeps getting his roti somehow, achhe din or no achhe din, he continues to believe in his political masters. They make, bend, change, tweak, modify and then justify the rules with sugar coated figures.

Well that was my aim to confuse myself so I started with the nuclear example and have still not revealed why am I writing all this. Well folks, I happened to hear our very dear Mr FM & DM briefing the media on the RBI report on the effects of re-monetisation I suppose. At the end of the day the whole exercise of demonetisation aka re-monetisation was done as the colour of the old notes was not matching the PM dresses. In the bargain if the tax payers base of the country increased by 17.971%, well what is wrong with it. The hundreds of tonnes of raddi collected in form of old 500 and 1000 rupee notes will be now handed over to the wall paper industry to change the colour of the walls of the North and South block. The black money which was supposed to come pouring in is still stuck in some foreign land and nothing in black could be retrieved. The cash less changed directions to less cash and the figure quoted was also in fractions of a percentage like 15.237%. Who knows how this figure has been calculated or arrived at and how accurate it is. At least I am not interested. The militants were supposed to be hit by demonetisation but they continued their demonization. Yes the only people who hit them were the armed forces and they shall continue to decimate them.

Added to this chaos of demonetisation came GST. What good it is to man or beast and what services it is taxing that no one is clear to be frank. Now we actually have a demonetised GST economy. The world economists are pondering over it as a special case study to find out how is it going to affect the coconut exports of Maldives as they are convinced that in India nothing has changed. Why I say this is because the trains keep derailing killing innocents travellers, children are again being massacred in hospitals. Babas and Baby’s keep ruling the roost. Bombay and Delhi cannot get over the deluge of rains. Pakistan continues its nefarious activities as usual. China is doing what it wants to do. I am where I was, except for my increasing weight I can find no change in me or my environment around.

It is not surprising at all because the FM handles the defence budget; he is also the DM. In the same breadth, he must be handling the home budget also so he should be the home minister too. I am not surprised that they have amalgamated the rail budget into the general budget but then where is the need to have a railways minister? If FM is going to handle all the money then why have so many ministers floating around. Here I find no logic as the people who are experts in their fields especially defence find themselves not even in the playing eleven of the game. They have been kept merely as extras. Which game they are going to play that the PM will decide? How long they will play that game before shifting to another sport that too is left to him? It is as simple as the cabinet reshuffle. From HRD to textile to another ministry in three years is like Mithali Raj shifting from cricket to badminton to boxing. Then we will expect her to win every game for India, while Sindhu and Mary Kom are told to play kabaddi and do sailing. What is the difference in sport a, b or c?

Well friends, this is not the first time the goal posts have been changed in this country. It was all started with good intentions like the surrendering of gas subsidy. Opening of the bank account was the next initiative. How far has it been really successful that Bhim, Paytm or such portals will tell? Kashmir boils with no goal post in site. Achhe din are just games people say but don’t play.  Will all these exercises bring some peace if not ache din with or without a changed goal post in the near future? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

KASHMIR ISRAEL INDIA & GST

I know you all will ask me is there any relation in all what I say in the title. Let me put my one and half pennies worth. One of the states which is hammer and tongs against the GST is J&K. Reasons can be attributed to many a things. I saw engineer Rashid trying to knock down a colleague in the assembly on the issue day before. Again I shall not get into the right and wrong of it but one thing is sure that the way these Kashmiri’s are panicking with GST is to be noted. Pak is not only panicking but monitoring PMs visit to Israel very minutely. The so called separatist lot of Kashmir are frightened like hell too. My hunch says Mufti and her gang are also in total shock and panic mode as neither the situation in Kashmir, nor the terrorists, nor Pak, nor their own people, nor their own government is under anybody’s control. Well, GST has no comparison with the PMs Israel visit but let me say how I see those things from my perspective.

People might compare India with Israel as far as Kashmir and Palestine is concerned, the oppression of Palestinians and the killing of Kashmiri’s by security forces and atrocities they claim etc. The role of Pakistan can also be compared to the role of all other Arab states against Israel as far as Kashmir is concerned. America has played a major role in Israel and so has played its game in Pakistan and Afghanistan. Well, I am not going to make those comparisons either as so much of it has been covered in the media. I shall discuss something different.

Why is there so much of commotion and resistance to implement GST in Kashmir? Because, time now has come that the Kashmiri’s are now seeing that sooner or later there is going to be an amendment in the constitution of India which has to do with article 370 to begin with. Let the Kashmiri economy be self sustaining rather than sustaining on my tax money will be the next change and that may come through the GST. The amount of money in terms of cash and kind which has been pumped in to this state God alone knows. I wish the same would have been given to the BPL people of rest of India, we could have seen a difference in India in these 70 years. They are now anticipating that the cat is out of the bag, their bluff of being a victim and a special state, with special status is getting over. Time is running out for them the way they ran the state. Sooner the Indian constitution is amended; J&K will automatically have to make amends. I can see in the near future that the separate flag of J&K also going along with all special privileges. Even if the flag continues to flutter, it would now be in the background and not the way they have exploited every Government in Delhi.

The repercussions of this change would be many. This revolution or evolution may see a lot of bloodshed. They have no choice but to accept it, they like it or they don’t. They need to get their basic needs from rest of India for their day to day survival. They will not be able to requisition or buy them anymore till the time they become part of the larger Indian picture. This is also a warning to the Hurriat and all those who still have a dream of either Azadi or merging with Pakistan that friends your days are limited, either get into the Indian main stream or get lost from Indian soil. When in India do as the Indians do, you can go to Rome or Timbuktu to do what they do there but get this thing clear that no autonomy or no more independence to you to run the state affairs, as you people are no more capable of doing so. You want Kashmir on the boil just to fill your coiffeurs, it’s going to stop.

This much is sure that to sort out Pakistan we need to get our act together in India and specifically Kashmir. Military is doing its job and we need to not only strengthen the Int-Grid but hold their hands. Once this message is percolated to the last stone pelter things will fall into place. Enough of pussy footing till now, methods needs to change; strategy needs to change, thinking needs to change above all Kashmiri people have no choice but to change and change the way India thinks. Period!

Let me discuss the Israeli connection I mention. Jews still live there but take Syria or any other Arab nation, where have they gone? They have been cleansed slowly like the Kashmiri’s did to the pundits, sad state of affairs but now it is part of history. Time now has come for history to be re-written. Enough of bowing down, enough of Oh my God Kashmir is burning? Who is burning it? It is the Kashmiri people themselves. They have no love lost for their land or brethren or else they would not let militants take people hostage because of which security forces have to fire rockets thus burning down assets belonging to Kashmir. As you sow so shall you reap is now coming true, as the seeds of thorny bushes were planted. Time now has come uproot these useless thorny bushes and plant new trees which are beneficial for “India’s Kashmir”. Time now has come to revamp everything as per the threat perspective of India. We have been tolerating the way Kashmir’s have mis-handled things, it has not worked out. Time now is ripe to change the engine, some sick coaches, the guard, the driver and a few passengers may also be told to get off this train as they are not letting it run.

My only issue with my country is that look at Israel, they are so small but the technology they have developed over the years in terms of their military might, no one can beat them. Because they have the will, they keep Israel first, simple. We are such an enormous country, with tremendous resources of wealth and brains. Where are we lacking? The nightmares that we propose to give to Pakistan by buying all kinds of military hardware from Israel should also give jitters to the Kashmiri militants and their supporters that look folks we are now going to come for you silently. Seriously, I would rather feel happy if I use my own country’s bombs rather than be dependent on Israel’s armoury. Though, I am thankful to them that they have bailed us out in every confrontation with Pakistan. Had our country been manufacturing things as per our needs and requirements, how dare any Pak or China challenge us! Pakistan would have vacated all that they have forcefully occupied by now had we been politically strong and self sufficient militarily.

On that note I am optimistic that things in Kashmir are on the cusp of change and change it will be. It may be from implementation of GST, amendment of the constitution, Governor’s rule, throwing out the Hurriat and separatist kinds, dealing firmly with stone pelters and trouble makers. In addition let us give Pakistan a good beating every week till the time it doesn’t behave. India also now needs to make indigenously state of art arms and ammunition to send a message to the world, that friends this is a MAKE OF INDIA. MADE BY INDIANS, MADE FOR INDIA, so better watch out. When will this be possible? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

IN CASH AND BODY BAGS A SOLDIER PAYS HIS TAXES

 

I was going through the summary of the GST bill sent to me on social media. I came to know that it has been tabled as a “money bill”. Well it is all about money going out of my pocket so I tried to find out what does it mean. Folks I gave up moment I saw the text of the money bill. I suggest don’t waste your time looking at it. The gist is that Rajya Sabha has just to go through certain paces for formality sake on such bills. People there may fret and fume and pick faults in the bill but the last laugh will be had by Sir Jaitley and his team in the Lok Sabha as they can show a “THENGA” to the upper house. What the states are going to do is obviously clear. Resistance might be there from only non BJP states, so dear common man will it be good, bad or ugly for you, time will tell.

Be that as it may. I would like to know, will there be only one tax on my Colgate and Thums up? Not that I use any. Will my carry home income increase with this bill? Will my income tax reduce? Will goods be cheaper? Will availability of items increase from the PM to my Bai who may prefer to use a “daatun” instead of paste. For PM Sahib it is herbal and natural besides Baba Ramdev recommends it and for my bai it’s free and readily available from the jungle. No VAT and this that needs to be paid.

FM Sahib, you pay me a pay/pension depending whether I am serving or retired and you tax it at source. I have no issues with that. Then you lay down how much will be tax free and how much won’t be. No issues with that too. Then you lay down income slabs on a sliding scale, I grant you that also. You also give me ways and means to save my money under 80-100cc category or whatever. Tell me one thing, if I have to earn to save why I earn in the first instant. If I have to earn and put it back in a scheme then why is my pay scale fixed? Why don’t you lay down that this much amount will be reduced, this will be put in compulsory saving till you retire, and this much I will take back for the government? Period! Why do you want me to fill forms and show you how much you gave me and how much I owe you and how much I have paid you back, and in case if I don’t pay by 31st March you further add a penalty to it. What nonsense this is! My pay scales are fixed by you, then why keep deducting. Do it once for all and save me this tension of filing returns. Half the times I am posted at places where you don’t provide me the net and most of the times how hard I try I can’t make out head or tail what to fill in where, though you claim filing is a cake walk. My foot! Please save me this agony also sir like you are doing for the GST. Tax me once and then let me relax for life time.

I have some more issues with you sir. OK fine you tax my pay, pension now you tax my pension plus pay as I am now working for a corporate. Firstly, you put me at a disadvantage when I come to the civil world as I am seen as a person with double income. They don’t realise I gave 25 years or more for this nation unflinchingly and earned my pension. Secondly, certain people don’t want to pay taxes as they say most of it goes in the pay and pensions of people like me and the balance goes to feed all “sarkari damads” like the parliamentarians. Out of every rupee only some part reaches the beneficiary rest is siphoned off due to your enacted laws and poor administrative controls. I can forgive them as they know not what they say about me but you all need to find answers for your part.

If I have paid you the tax which was due on my pay and say I save some of it which I put it in FD, you charge me tax on its interest also. What the hell? Then you add that interest to my rest of the income and tax it again. If the scale tips over to the next tax bracket there is a quantum jump on the tax which I have to dish out. I decide to buy a house from my savings. I pay you tax again including all swach bharat, beti parhao, kissan cess etc. The bank’s loan me the amount and charge me interest where as my pay comes in that bank only.  You give me a tax rebate equivalent to peanuts on housing loan, where do I go? When builders fund you and your parties then no one opens his mouth but the builder opens his mouth wide when he charges me with all taxes and cess’ and half the thing he wants under the table. I buy a vehicle and for that I pay registration fee, insurance, road tax, environment tax and you name it. I paid so much of income tax to built roads then you charge me road tax besides you don’t let me off without paying toll tax too. Is it right? I go to a dhaba I pay no taxes on what I eat. I go to a restaurant and the last five lines are taxes and charges for what I ate. Depending on the type of eatery, they charge many times the amount for the ambiance and a waiter and you want me to pay the government of India for giving my daughter a treat. Isn’t it ironical FM sahib? I don’t mind paying for a rail ticket as the railways have definitely improved; unfortunately there has been an accident today.

If you really see the soldiers, they actually are paying taxes to the nation by putting their lives at stake for you people who don’t understand their worth and treat them as cannon fodder. One political decision to sort out Kashmir has been delayed by you for donkey’s years. How many more body bags would be sufficient? How many lost legs and limbs do you want? How many widows and orphans do you want for this nation to run in terms of taxes my dear sirs? Don’t we protect you in the close cordons when you as MPs move around in bullet proof cars? A man hangs on to a modified footrest to protect you and still you want us to pay taxes. If you are the chosen one of the people why do you need any protection from your own people?

You have one rank called MP, with one pay and one pension. You thrive on our money and want us to pay you both in cash and body count, how sad! You keep getting paid as you never feel like retiring. We soldiers take oath to dedicate ourselves to the nation even at the peril of our lives and you people want us to perpetually remain in peril and continue to be martyred without you people being harmed. We obey the rules laid down by you and you snatch away what we earn. We are still magnanimous to give you back enough in taxes and personal sacrifices, which you mismanage for obvious reasons. Some of us luckily survived, we have grown old and weak and silently sit at Jantar Mantar peacefully to make you realise that it is high time you gave us our due sirs. Are you listening yea members of parliament? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

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