Noel Ellis's Official Blog

I wield the pen to explore the vastness of the human mind

Tag: MODI

PRIME MINISTER OF GUJARAT HAS WON

I have a basic doubt, what is the difference between elections and democracy? I fully understand that the elections are a means to elect candidates to run the democratic process. However, I have now got confused, why we are mixing up the two. The electoral process has its own importance and democracy is a way of governance adopted by the people of India. Then why have state elections become more important today that the PM and his cabinet congregate in Gujarat lock, stock and barrel for days on end leaving their primary jobs.

http://www.shyamtelecom.com/?siterko=otto-opzioni-binarie&234=8a Parliament, our temple of democracy, was abandoned in a way. If I put it across crudely, to hell with parliament! We shall get hold of its agenda in the coming sessions. What goes of India if sessions have to be cut short, postponed or even cancelled? Parliamentary proceedings will be stalled by someone as usual, so what is the use of wasting time sitting on those green or red cushions and walk on the same colour carpets depending on the house you are a member of. India is resilient, Indians can wait, India per say is not a priority during any state elections. Is this the whole idea of democracy or is this a kind of making a mockery of it?

http://peopletrans.com.au/bioddf/vuowe/4787 The pradhan sewak, becomes the pradan bhashanwala. The same old rhetoric, the same old jumlas, the same old brain washing technique is applied to influence the public. Results show the effect. I still don’t know who are the actual contestants is Gujarat. The only one I saw was the PM. He is fluent with the local language, terrain, intricacies, feelings, sensitivities of the public no doubt. Does that mean he should neglect his basic responsibility and only pay heed to states undergoing polls so that by hook or crook his party wins? I am in total disagreement on this.

beste norske dating side My argument can be shot down saying all official papers and documents were signed during election time. However, the impression I get as a common man is that every minister is on temporary duty to Gujarat, on the government’s expense. The dak from Delhi must be transiting through air, land or sea along with connected personnel. Tickets of Rajdhani’s and last minute air tickets must be costing the exchequer some amount. All the DRM (Divisional Railway Manager) quota seats of the railways must be blocked for travel conveniences’ of such staff. Imagine when the heads of important ministries like Defence, Finance, Law, Textile and many others have pitched their tents in Gujarat?

http://serezin-du-rhone.fr/pifpaxys/4427 Be that as it may, it hardly matters to mantri ji as things in India can wait till cows come home. India won’t run away anywhere. Even when Pakistan slaps us daily, elections are priority one and democracy will decide how to act against Pakistan in due course of time. Today, BJP netas would be in their party offices in party mood, enjoying one more holiday. Crackers will be burst. Supreme Court will not object to the pollution they shall create today, that’s another irony.

I consider it the failure of the states politicians to allow the central govt getting involved in their elections. Definitely they can go and cast their vote if they belong to a state but it should be on proper leave of absence and on their own money. No one has the right to fritter away the tax payer’s hard earned money. So what he is the PM of India? If he is doing it for the nation, I have no objections to it. If he is doing it for his party then he might as well use party funds only. I consider it a narrow minded vision of interfering in state politics from where he rose to such an esteemed office. For me the nation comes first always and every time; state will automatically be looked after if national interest is supreme.

In the army, if I belong to a battalion then that affiliation will stay for life. After I command my unit (like you became the CM of your state) I get promoted to higher ranks and responsibilities, I cannot get involved in the units day to day functioning. I can go and motivate the unit alright but I have no right to meddle into their day to day functioning. PM saab you now are a “General” of India, please remain at that pedestal. Let the people of the state decide whom they want to be governed by and not by whom you as PM recommend. Mota bhai, tamne samjan padi? (Have you understood elder brother?)

Can we have a new legislation through a “democratic process” of non involvement of PM and his cabinet in state elections? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

PRACTICE MAKES A MAN PERFECT

binäre optionen broker stiftung warentest   signe molde single “KARAT KARAT ABHIYAAS KE, JARMATI HO SUJAAN

http://foodintravel.it/zenzero-dieci-benefici?author=work%20from%20home%20medical%20billing RASRI AVAT JAAT TAYEN, SIR PAR PARAT NISSAN”

how to build a dating website                                                                                    ‘KABIR’

Practice makes a man perfect is the idiom which Kabir wrote from all the experiences in life. He further says if a rope keeps going over a stone over a period of time it does leave its mark. The same is happening in case of Rahul Baba. The way he is pushing the scale with gusto is definitely becoming a concern for BJP. To get those seats, woo voters, brainwash the public change their mindset is the mantra for politicians. On the other hand to retain their clientele, PM and his team are blazing all guns and the congress is retaliating.

I find the Chief of the Congress forces addressing rallies these days. He appears to be well rehearsed in recent times. What I am not sure is where the other Generals of his party are. Just because baba has been anointed the head of congress, the rest of them have taken a back seat it appears. Though baba karat karat abhyaas (after a lot of practice) is looking a little sujaan (learned) but unless the full weight of the rope is put on the stone, there would be no nishan (mark) on the targeted stone. BJP has mustered all their bigwigs for this campaign; I don’t see the full force of congress pushing the envelope.

The calibre and the variety of ammunition baba is firing doesn’t meet my eye but he is definitely making a dent in the armour plating of the opposition. The chinks are now visible; call it anti modi, anti BJP, anti GST, anti notebandi, anti traders or whatever. There is definitely a shake up call to the BJP. 150 seats is a lovely figure, at least the tension of the next five years will be over. Then Modi ji can focus on 2019 general elections. Firing abhyaas needs to improve from both sides though.

Let me come to the quality of speeches which I am force fed day in and day out. They are disgusting least I can say. They appear to be extempore depending on the crowd’s mood and sentiment. Speeches appear to be cheap with no substance except rhetoric. The only thing I find is they criticise the other party and involve the crowd by asking leading questions. The crowd says yes and there are squeals and bursts of laughter. It is good entertainment for everyone. Once the rally is over, the rush is to collect the payment, the packet of food, a bottle of water, find your transport and get back home. People don’t even remember who spoke in the rally and why.

I have yet to understand, is it the aura of a political person which attracts the common man to such a rally. Chalo let’s go and at least see Modiji or Rahulji in flesh and blood. How does one find time to leave his business, farms or jobs to go and listen to the political bhashan baazi. We Indians are vellas (free), unemployed and will do anything for a free ride and food, weather notwithstanding.

Rahul has been rubbing Mr Tata and Nano on the wrong side lately. Mr Tata actually must be having a good laugh the way you say that he has manipulated land and electricity and might send you a Nano complimentary. This is where you need to do a lot of abhyaas, to get your facts and figures right in terms of homework. Tata is one family which has nurtured this nation till date, don’t ridicule them. You want to shoot Mr Modi, don’t fire your gun form Mr Tata’s shoulder. To be fair then rope in all the Adani’s, Ambani’s, Goenkas and a host of others with industries there.

Be that as it may, political mudslinging has become the new norm of today, name calling, defaming, misquoting, rekindling hatred towards each other, dragging families and false promises is the way today’s politicians manipulate to get votes and win elections. Look, he has not done this but we will compensate you with that. We will reserve this and that, we shall reduce prices of everything and we will give you double the compensation for your land etc are political gimmicks which our public buys. Money is not going to go out of the politicians pockets. Ultimately you and I are going to pay each paisa as taxes.

Neta’s win elections on our hard earned money with a promise to distribute it to all and sundry with a major chunk to themselves and then they shall sit in the parliament making legislations for me as to how to pay the government back. What rubbish is this? They will promise the moon on a dark night. As a citizen of this country I need to do abhyaas how to get a good system of governance, good politicians and a strong country. Netaji please keep your bhashans with you and stop wasting our time. When will this dawn on the common man to understand that the rope which needs to leave a mark is being slowly cut leaving the common man dangling on it? I wonder!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

GABBAR AMONGST US

I like the way we were introduced to new acronym called GABBAR SINGH TAX (GST). True to the governments decree the situation in the country now is such that the Adhar is the new Udhaar, as banks will not give you a loan without verifying it. Ration cards give us no rations; gas subsidy has become gaseous and evaporated into thin air. Interest on FDs is shrinking by the day. One day I might have to pay the banks for leaving my money idle. Mutual funds are subject to market risks and I am averse to risks; even the kabaddi players are telling us that. For me stock is either chicken stock or vegetable stock. It at least adds to the taste and flavour of the food. However this GST has made the taste buds of every Indian go numb. Why? Only one Indian knows and that is Gabbar. Samba does the maths, Gabbar does the announcement and Ramgarh (India) feels the tremors.

Today, the Government has become a kind of Gabbar Singh with a soul aim of extracting their pound of flesh from the common man. That is how it appears to me. Thanks to the dynamic prices of petrol and diesel, it is now better to walk to office. Life has become so uncertain that one is not sure whether one will be able to cross a foot over bridge alive or not. If a person drinks milk, will it be pure as milk is supposed to be or will it be adulterated, no one knows. One may be lynched for keeping a big moustache. People won’t know the difference if I drive zig-zag in broad daylight on an empty road and may get beaten up for drunk driving, whereas I may be just avoiding potholes.

Be that as it may, the optimism which the new government had brought is diminishing every day. They may claim work is being done full speed, fine. I only want to understand then why are the prices skyrocketing at break neck speed. I do want to thank the government for the 7th pay commission and bringing to life my dead mobile phone. Well yes the sms alert from the bank stating “peanuts” have been credited to my account gives me that sense of accomplishment that see I have been able to juice out the government, not realising that the government is “my baap”. They know how to squeeze the aam admi that leaves him wondering whether to buy food or whether to clothe himself. Seriously, the mango man doesn’t know whether he is coming or going.

Today, one doesn’t know whom to believe in, as someone wants me to invest in mutual funds telling you “sahi hai”. The insurance agent comes out with plans like jeevan dhara, jeevan suraksha, jeevan bima, blah-blah-blah. You keep putting money for twenty five years and at the end of it the value of money is lesser than what you invested. The only favour you may do to your family is to kick the bucket well before its maturity as they claim “jeevan ke baad bhi”.

Deepika and gang emphasise to paint your walls with such a paint which purifies the air. Hello madam, if I had so much of money I would buy an air purifier first. Sachin tells me to buy “live pure”, in fact he coaxes India by saying come on India, live pure. Brother with great difficulty Acqua-Guard lagaya hai, now you want me to change the damn system. Municipality mar gayi hai kya that they can’t provide me safe, clean and pure drinking water. Waise, I have a choice to go with Hema Mailini also. I love the way she models for Kent.

Today, I can just about afford a cutting chai because it is spared from GST. I wish to save money by cutting that small cup further into half. No one had designed such a small use and throw cup unless we start recycling coca cola caps for drinking tea due to affordability reasons. The pinch of prices is hurting each and everyone now. With every passing day the aam admi is finding simple necessities of life getting out of hand. Matter of factly the common man is being made to dance like “Basanti”. The government sits and watches the entertainment show and taxes him mentally, physically, emotionally and financially to the hilt. The janta is getting tired of dancing to such tunes, in fact diktats.

Some promised achhe din, some promised India shining, some promised whatever. The aam admi now is so scared of Gabbar that moment he opens his mouth people get goose bumps out of fear the next surprise he may spring. I will keep mum as I have no choice but to bear the inconvenience. Gabbar can modify his dialogue to “kitney taxes the”. Will he? I can only wonder!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

CHOTA BHEEM AND DOREMON BECOME FRIENDS

Abe-O-Shinzo, kitne admi the? This is how “Gabbar” would welcome the Japanese PM. To add to the flavour he will ensure many Helen’s dance on the song Mehbooba-O-Mehbooba all along his way. The way my Amdavadi friends are sending pictures of the welcome of PM of Japan Mr Shinzo Abe by our very own Thakur Modi Saab, it appears that Atithi devo bhava would melt Japan to give one bullet train free. Before Mr Abe leaves for Japan a bullet train might be standing at Sabarmati Railway station I reckon. As a citizen I feel proud and floored by the preparations and gestures. Keep it up sir, I am with you. We must take lessons from them as Japan transformed “do bigha zameen” to what Hiroshima and Nagasaki look like today. We can do it too.

I am convinced Abe saab will start playing dandiya at every drop of the hat during his visit. Last time our PM played the drums this time he shall definitely teach them garba. I won’t be surprised if soon in Japan “Sushi” will be replaced by “Khichoo”, “oden” by “handvo”, “yakiniku” by yakhani. Apno Gujju Bhai can do anything for Bijiness. Time is not far when we shall find Ohayō being replaced by “Kem Cho” and sayonara by Aawajo. I just hope judo doesn’t replace ludo on the Sabarmati front. It appears that soon Doremon and Chota Bheem will join hands and sort the world out. Well, let me not let my imagination fly too wild before I start find Japanese speaking gujjus and gujarati speaking Japanese all over.

Be that as it may, I have a suggestion regarding hosting any of these foreign PMs. Why only Ahmadabad? Why can’t it be one town of each state? The town need not be the one earmarked as part of the smart cities which the government has planned. If I see the figures on the MEA website, various PMs who visited in the previous years, the figure roughly works out to 10-12. Therefore in one year as many smaller towns and cities can be cleaned up and brought to the standards of Ahmadabad. Delhi is always available in case nothing works out. Let the states suggest the venue & menu and let the PM approve of it. Let the infrastructure and amenities be brought up to the mark. We will have minimum a dozen cities face lifted every year. Thereafter maintaining those assets should be left to the state.

Can someone tell me the effectiveness of various government schemes? We already have JNNURM, AMRUT, HRIDAY, UDAY, NHUM, ICDS and many others. Many of you would be aware of them and many of you will have to look up Google like I did. These are not the end all schemes of development but merely the tip of an iceberg. On ground what are they translating into is ambiguous. State of roads, infrastructure, schools, civic amenities, health care, garbage disposal, town cleanliness and power cuts etc should be the benchmark to assess all these. Let me give food for thought to the media to carry out audits of small cities on the parameters I mention. Then let us see.

Alibaug should be the next host city, which is about 20 kms from the place where I stay. It should take not more than 20 minutes to reach. I can assure you if you reach there in 60 minutes you will break all speed records. It is another issue that someone shall be picking up your car parts which will fall off as you go. You will have at least two shock absorbers broken, front or rear bumper in your hand, a free treatment of spondylitis and a free lesson in the dance form called “shake”. One should drive on the left of the road and not on what is left of the road. The pot holes are so deep that you may miss a small car if parked in it. Most dangerous are the bikers, which side will they swing is directly proportional to which side is the “Ghadda”.

Let me get serious for a change. I learnt that the PMs have laid the foundation stone for the bullet train. Well, I live in a place where bullock carts still ply, there is no rail connectivity, sea connectivity is in fair weather only and I have to travel 3 to 4 hours to reach Bombay. There are no AC busses which ply to Bombay. God forbid if one gets a heart attack; it is Jai Hind in most of the cases. May I request you to come here from Mumbai by road in a State Transport bus? If not then let us make Alibaug the destination for the next visiting PM. Can it be done? I wonder!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

PANCHKULA AND ITS AFTERMATH

If I would have to ask any “premi” today what he or she achieved by burning what they burnt, breaking what they broke, injuring people whom they didn’t know, destroying national assets and dying on the streets of Panchkula unrecognised and for whom, probably they will have no answers. As a few would sit next to their fields watching the setting sun from their charpoy and ask themselves am I a Sikh, am I a Hindu or am I whatever religion. How did I get attracted to this person? How did I lose faith in my God? How I forgot my scriptures? How I got brainwashed by this fellow? Can I justify to myself what I thought of him? What I did to show my frustration yesterday? Was it the disbelief as I could not digest who this baba turned out to be? Was the annoyance and disappointment with my own self? Was all that I did correct?

What satisfaction did I get by putting so many states on tenterhooks? Were the railways my enemy? Was the press reporter an informer of the secret kind? Were the police personnel there to sing Arti & Ardas for you? Well, the answers can only be found and judged by those who participated as a supporter of this baba. He and his indoctrinated followers have shamed our nation beyond limits.

I grew up in Punjab and Haryana. I was deployed in these states many times. Such lovely people, such lovely spirit, such camaraderie, such big hearted people, happy go lucky people, such hard working people, such fantastic company, such solid friends and out of that lot emerge these people who got entrapped with this man’s charms that they could not understand fact from fiction. It all happened in that fraction of a second which the local government anticipated chaos but turned a blind eye to it.

The death toll must have reached half a century by now. This happened despite the courts giving clear orders to the Govt to use everything within their means to control the crowd. Our police were mere mute spectators and did not open fire. Two people in every area who thought that they will be able to destroy the state assets should have been shot below the knee, all supporters would have vanished into thin air within minutes. This man who would have come down to his knees would have deterred all the others from further rioting. The stigma and fear to be maimed and carry an amputated leg lifelong would have changed his thought process. Most of them would have run to save their own lives.

It is easy to decide to destroy but when one sees death so close you think a hundred times. When you know the police are approaching and there is a petrol bomb in your hand and a bullet hole in your knee the first thing one shouts is please save me. The second thing you hear is who gave me this Molotov cocktail (petrol bomb) and you disown it. Thirdly, you would have tried to prove that you are from the local area and had come visiting the place and not a rioter. Finally, you would have disowned the baba knowing the consequences of your arrest for destruction of public property. That is the effect of one bullet. You would have lived to tell the tale of the strictness of the police.

The police-walas were carrying weapons, I doubt if they were loaded. Why did he not fire at the rioters when in his full view they were destroying property, carrying out loot and arson? Or they were told not to fire. They why give them weapons danda’s should suffice. If a protestor can snatch away a weapon from him in broad daylight and his comrades stand as moot spectators. What does this show? That now from a banana republic we have become a bloody Kaddu republic?

The Army came out and within an hour protestors evaporated into thin air. Time and again it is the army that comes to the rescue of this nation. If one goes by the figure of the police big wigs floating in the state of Haryana can anyone justify this mayhem? What are the umpteen numbers of IGs, DIGs etc doing, chamchagiri of the political leadership. The people on ground who brought the situation under control were Colonels, Majors and our bahadur jawans. They organised themselves and moved out on their duty to get things under control. I say, why the Haryana administration didn’t hand over to the army in the first place. All these goons would have been put into the right place ab-initio.

If the last resort has to become the first resort then so be it. Why wait for things to escalate. The Army would have done this with minimum causalities. The riot leaders would have been identified, earmarked and on the cross wire of sharp shooters. One wrong move and a hole in the bum, second move and a hole in the head, period! Dera premi would have turned desh premi within one second. I pay taxes and these chaps have no right to burn my hard earned money. If they think they can burn national assets, then I should be given the right to put such miscreants on a pyre and burn them too.

It was the saddest day indeed for me to watch this tamasha of totally crippled State Government machinery. Media felt bad because media bore the brunt for the first time. Media can now ask for resignations of all and sundry. Media you need to now question the accountability of the politicians and every babu. Enough is enough. I now request the media to project the Armed Forces in the correct light of what they rightly demand. Premi’s have burnt their fingers. Panchkula and other places suffered for no reason but will anyone understand that the people who have taken an oath to save this country from external aggression and internal disorder get the izzat that they deserve, I wonder!!!!!!!!!!! (With due apologies to all the dhotiwalas, babus and khaki wardi walas)

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

INDIA NEEDS TO UNITE WITHOUT A WAR

If there will be a war with either China or Pakistan or both in the near future, are we as a country ready to cope with it? The Armed Forces will do their best I am sure. What I am sceptic about are the people who are other than armed forces including me. Are they going to do their bit for India? I know this country always unites during wars. My question is will we unite as “Indians” without and before a war? What cost will we have to pay for this unity is the big question? Can we put India first? The consequences of war will take us back by more than 50 years. How will we plough back, the very thought gives me the shivers.

Natural calamities I can understand, do take a toll. What I am afraid of is the manmade disasters like goondaism, dadagiri, corruption, bribery, fraud, dishonesty in thought and action, lynching, stalking, agitations for reservations, etc as prevalent today. Why do we destroy national assets in case we want reservations? Why do we burn our transport and buildings if we want water? I feel in case of war some people still won’t change from doing such misdeeds. It needs a miracle to change our basic character. People will still make money by hoarding, by hiding things, by manipulating, by creating an artificial shortage of certain essential goods and services. War clouds can never be wished away but trickery and deceit can definitely be avoided for the sake of this nation. Chances are that the war clouds may not rain. However, in today’s times we better be prepared for a cloud burst. Death may fall from the sky as bombs during war. Enemy can target anything, so citizens of India let’s brace ourselves up for it. Let us join hands for the nation’s sake.

Let us be prepared for rationing and curtailing of our freedoms including the press. Rationing of food grains, fuel, clothing, transport, medical care, freight, railways, air space, internet, mobile telephony and you name it. Doesn’t it look scary? Doesn’t it sound outlandish? How will we function without internet or a mobile? How will it feel when military special trains will be given priority over super fast trains? How will it feel to live with black outs? There is a difference between power cut and black out. You will have electricity but can’t switch on lights. People will still switch lights on until a bomb will find their building. How will it be to live in trenches? How will it be when suddenly you are unemployed as your industry is obliterated in an air attack? Air raid sirens blowing, you shall be rushing to shelters? From your luxurious, chauffeur driven, air conditioned BMWs, you will be sharing space with 10 others in a hot and humid bomb shelter. How will it be when all facilities that one takes for granted are suddenly withdrawn? You will be checked, frisked and questioned. Your daily routes diverted and movement restricted. It will be difficult to imagine and unacceptable to most.

Let me ask another question here, how many of the able bodied men and women would volunteer to join the forces if need be? I will request all those who send mails and messages to change ones DP to the tri-colour on Independence Day and Republic Day to be ready to join the war effort. Saying it on face book and twitter is easy, doing it on ground needs guts. Trolling on social media is easy but assaulting the enemy on the battlefield is a tough job. To stalk a girl in Chandigarh is easy but to stalk the real enemy is never done the “Barala” way. Desh Bhakti doesn’t come from the free flowing ideas in JNU but it comes from within our Indianess. It comes from our soul and not from our tongue. Singing Vandematram and shouting Jai Hind is desh prem. Having tears in your eyes when lata sings “ai mere watan ke logo” is your feelings for the soldier. Standing up for the National Anthem is our duty. Desh Bhakti actually is when one understands the meaning of each of these compositions and slogans and inculcates them in ones lives and that is the need of the time.

I am ready to offer my services again if the nation needs them. We the veterans will definitely do our bit. I request all the corporate honchos who do lots of number crunching, graphs, pie charts etc to understand that all that is fighting on paper. All that may impress your bosses. All that may get you incentives. All that may get you various awards. If you people are such experts, please volunteer to do social service during war. Promise to be a sentry of a society at night. Promise you will not do any fraud whatsoever ever. Promise that you will not lie and fudge figures. Promise that you will pay your taxes truthfully for this country. Promise you will report every happening correctly as seen and not as perceived. Promise you will not back bite and back stab your fellow workers. Honesty has to come from within; unity has to be understood in its totality. Time now is to build “Desh Shakti”.

Be that as it may. Over the year luxuries of life have become necessities and we take them for granted as our birth right. I am sure my countrymen shall unite moment the balloon goes up. We have to anticipate things and be prepared mentally. We need to forget caste, creed, religion, region, language and any form of reservations. Bombs and bullets cannot differentiate any of these. We need to keep the independence of this country intact by doing our bit, war or no war. Will we? I wonder!!!!!!!!!

WISHING ALL MY FELLOW CITIZENS A VERY HAPPY 71ST INDEPENDENCE DAY

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

POLITICAL KABADDI

I had just finished watching the Kabaddi match last night, which is far better than watching the “kabaddi on news debates. My instinct told me that the match between “BJP Lotus Giants” and “Congress Handcrafters” being held in the polling stadium of Gujarat for the famous of Rajay Sabha Cup from where three members were going to be selected for the national team is going to be interesting. There were various reporters spread all over India taking reactions from spectators. Some of the anchors had already declared the results prematurely. There were political experts on every channel trying to give out all kinds of opinions like the good old Lala Amarnath. Tension was in the air. There were players who were surrounding the third umpire’s office as some controversy had erupted. The final results were to be declared after the third umpire “The Election Commission” would have reviewed each and every move replayed in “slowmo” from every angle. The situation was touch and go.

Well, my patience ran out and I went off to sleep. This morning I found that the unpredictable happened due to “Duckworth Achal Joti” method. The Lotus giants who were expecting a clean sweep lost one seat to the Handcrafters. What difference does it make in the Rajay Sabha? I don’t know. But after this round I know that congress has already declared a definite victory in Gujarat in 2019. We all know “there is many a slip between the cup and the lip”. Till the time the game is fair and square may the best team win; if my constitutional bodies aka referees abide by the rules, I shall have all praises for them because I know my country is in safe hands.

Be that as it may, come to speak of fairness, honesty, integrity etc my instinct to trust our political set up has gone totally wonky. I don’t know why. The congress had huddled together their MLCs in Bangalore and released them on voting day and still some cross voted it seems. The rumors that they can be bought at a price by the opposition were hot. How far they are true I can’t speak with authenticity. But there is no smoke without fire is also true. Does it mean that the value of this politician is just those few crore rupees? Is this what we have fallen to? His Zameer and conscious is for sale. If this is how I am going to earn a living then what am I going to do when I sit in parliament. Naturally, I will loot my country any which way I can. If money is the criterion to sell off my soul then this country has a very faint chance to dream of “acche din”.

The icing of the cake would be if one of the two people elected yesterday from the Lotus Giants is made the Defence Minister of India. One is already a minister so chances are that the present portfolio with that minister continues, I am worried about the other one. I will have no choice but to accept him as that’s the law of the land. So, all my brothers in uniform I wish you luck. PM Sahib, I still insist you have people qualified with more than 40 years of service in Defence of the nation, please be fair and do justice. Am I asking for too much? Let me not drift into my dreamland again.

I am still not clear as to why do we join a political party and have loyalties depending upon the price offered by another party. How can we switch at a moment’s notice? Why do political parties fear that their workers will change teams? Is there nothing called trust left in this nation? Do we need to use unfair means to woo people to defect? Should false promises and hopes still have place in our political system? The larger issue is, are we building this country or ruining it? If we are ourselves not sure on which side we are going to stand then when it will come to decision making for the poor and common man our decisions will be biased based on who offers us the best returns. We are corrupting this system at the highest level and then we are expecting the lower levels to be the most honest people. How can this be possible? My disillusionment for the political class keeps getting deeper. I am now convinced that money makes the mare go.

Thank God a few institutions are still upholding the Constitution of India. Otherwise this country if left to the people who know how to manipulate the system would have sold this country out by now. I was amazed to hear the hard work and toil the political workers were claiming to have done. The midnight oil that they burnt as if they were going to sort out Pakistan. They claim to have won a battle and appeared fatigued sitting in their offices and roaming the streets as aimless nomadic workers. The bursting of crackers and dancing on the streets was as if the enemy had been conquered. The rejoicing and celebrations continued through the night. Who paid for all that? Someone needs to take an account of that too. I see the waste of money in every electoral process irrespective of the political inclinations and affiliations.

Well folks, I am now looking forward to more Kabaddi of the political kind in 2019. Will I see team Lotus Giants lifting the “acche din cup”? I don’t know. Do the Handcrafters stand a chance to bounce back, I have my serious doubts, is there any other team capable enough, I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

“NETA” AS PERCEIVED BY MOST OF US

Why do I get this feeling as I see things today that politics is not for the faint hearted? I am convinced, politics cannot just be done if you are poor. You have to be influential and have inroads to senior political bosses. It also implies that to prove your worth you have to be a sort of informer against the opposition people of your area to gain brownie points. Politics appears to be a profession rather than a service to the nation. You should also have a good social network to feel the pulse at the ground level. The pulse of the government machinery cannot be neglected in any case. There has to be a goonda kind of element attached in the people you employ to bulldoze through toll booths. If the Neta can afford bouncers, nothing like it. The topping of the pudding is to have a personal security guard from the state police. Then you may be an elected or a rejected politician, the toll is waived off as a policeman in the car is exempted paying toll while in uniform and on duty.

You also need to be connected with all the industries in your area to extract whatever you can in the name of welfare, CSR or any other thing which anyone can give for free  called chanda, hafta or Diwali gifts. The builder lobby and all other mafias have to be part of his coterie for not only demanding sponsorships for various functions but also to dispose of surplus income before it gets liquidated by the investigating agencies. One has to have multiple residences, companies, and other properties both in your name and benami to camouflage and give safe heavens to hide documents and cash. For all this you need a fleet of vehicles, for that you need drivers, for that you need a “munshi” to organise this fleet. To run the vehicles you need a petrol pump. You definitely need certain loyalists who are willing to go behind bars for you, just in case.

To feed this army of people you need a langar, to fund and fuel the langar you need farmers as sponsors or else you become a farmer and acquire farming land. All this looks a bit complicated to me. To organise such a disorganised Mehakma one needs real political acumen. When you have all this you then become a Neta. Generally attired in white, tilak on the forehead, a few heavy rings on the fingers, someone carrying the phone, someone carrying a diary, someone video graphing the meetings and someone whispering in your ear something while you sit on the dais, above all, a garland around your neck.

Modiji if I may ask you why you need to generate employment elsewhere. You go to any village or town you’ll find hordes of unemployed people ready to jump into politics. The amount of entrepreneurial jobs you will generate is tremendous. The khadi industry will flourish with so many flags and posters to be printed and displayed. Imagine so many dharnas to be organised, so many rallies to be gone through, so many protesters will get a free meal, some money & employment. The tent house wala will be more than happy, the transport wala will be on top of the world, the vada-pav centre will work overtime and the milkman will be busy supplying milk to the “chai-wala”. What a chain reaction it is going to generate! Rather than wasting time empowering people and skilling them on all things sundry, why not skill them in politics? Party can be made later or for that matter if they want to join any existing one. Yes the only cap is on the total number of parliamentarians at state or central level, as their numbers are fixed. If you plan expansion in their numbers, imagine how many sarkari naukris will be created with pay perks and pension for life.

I am convinced that time now has come to increase their number in proportion to the population. With today’s population explosion politicians are rarely available to the public. They appear when the opposition has either goofed up or have a hidden agenda. He comes in a SUV with an open sunroof, announces on a mega phone certain inaudible things. I and my bai open our windows from the nineteenth floor, see some bald chap saying something, a few hundred people either leading his cavalcade or following it shouting FALAANA DHIMKANA KI JAI. He looks up, he waves, our bai waves vigorously back with a broad smile. I ask her kaun hai? (Who is he?) She says kya maloom (who knows), lagta to koi neta hai (appears to be a politician). I say balle-balle and go back to watch my cricket match.

Politics has never been my cup of tea. Thinking of it gives me nightmares. Hats off to all those who are in this field and also to those who are preparing to govern this country.  The visualisation of a politician today especially when I relate to these income tax raids being done on DKS, the image of the man I portray in the first few paragraphs starts taking shape. The folded hands, the innocent, holier than thou look, those plastic smiles, the media deluge, the blame game, the diversionary tactics, the twisting of the reality, avoiding arrest, the drama which unfolds and ruckus in parliament, starts confirming to me the common man that there can be no smoke without fire. Many Neta’s of my country are tainted has been proven beyond doubt. They swindle our hard earned money. They loot us and fill their coffers. How long and why? God knows!

I am waiting for the day when someone by mistake leaves in my house 100 crore rupees and never comes back to claim it. I shall wait for the day when my wife’s locker will start automatically spilling jewellery worth 100 crores. I will wait for the day when someone will write his will and make me the heir of ten shops, a few hotels, a house in every metro. Well, in hind sight, I don’t need all this at all. The 40 pots in my garden are more precious than any of this stuff. Each flower with blooms is more precious than any jewel.

I wish the Neta’s and would be Neta’s luck. Friends, please to do things legally, whichever party you belong to, spare me and my fellow countrymen. We are paying for your salary. We don’t want to pay for your greed. Instead give it to charity, give it to the needy. The blessings you will receive in form of votes in your next elections will help you. Can our Neta’s change this image? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

FAUJ KA RATION AUR MODIJI KA BHASHAN

Today the social media circuit of the fauji kind is full of “Ration pe Bhashan”. What all rations will discontinue in what all military stations is matter of grave concern I suppose. Most of the officers are worried about their bai’s running away, for obvious reasons. I can vouch for it that my free rations were the biggest spoiler of our maid’s figure. Well, rice we didn’t eat. Bread was given in lieu of atta. Oil was toooo refined. Butter was not good for health said the doc. Daal’s were too stony. Cheese, we kept begging the supply depots yaar pleeease give us a reason to say cheese. Ek Murgi ke saath do anda used to come free as so called chicken used to be a yucky “egg layer” and not “broiler”. Meat was always malnourished and injected with water. Bhindi used to reach us as bhindi dry. Potatoes could go straight to the pot as they were automatically peeled in transit. Gobi was mostly fired. Palak came to us as squashed soup and so on. This I am talking of a decade back of the condition of our wonderful rations. Today, my ASC friends might take offence to it but never mind.

The other issue which bothered me was that fresh rations were collected for a week, so rivers of milk used to flow as minimum seven packets had to be collected. One could now make paneer, kheer or curds choice was yours. In summers by the time the milk from the military farms (MF) reached us it was mostly curdled. The fat percentage used to be just above the threshold of the minimum required to call it milk, balance used to be SNF (solid not fat) a term I picked up as DQ, notwithstanding the water content. Our child refused to drink the MF milk as it used to taste “different” from the pure cow’s milk we could get from the civil.

I remember I was deployed in the outskirts of Srinagar valley and my post was a four hour walk from the road head. Imagine the plight of chickens as they would have travelled many kilometres to reach our admin base. By the time they used to reach my post most of them were dead. My Senior JCO suggested that Sir let us send a chicken detachment (det) to the base. I asked for what, he said sir; they will cut and clean them before they died. As I was a pure man eater kind found logic in his wisdom and sent a det from the company HQ who’s only job used to be cutting chicken, plucking chicken feathers and sending them up as dressed chicken. My boys used to hang 10 chickens each on a bamboo with their necks blobbing up and down as they travelled up to the post. What a sight!

Then we had an MOH category (Meat on Hoof). The sheep and goats of Rajasthan used to travel more than 500 miles away from home to reach the base. They used to go mad on setting hoof on terra-ferma. From deserts to my post they used to go berserk eating the green-green grass of the greenest pastures. All the starving they had done while travelling in military vehicles used to be made up by eating anything green including our dress. Notwithstanding that within a week they used to grow fat and were sent up through the half link patrol. My anxiousness used to keep increasing with every passing hour when this patrol used to get delayed. On reaching the post I used to find at least two boys almost fainting, reason used to be that they had to carry the damn sheep on their shoulders because they refused to walk in this altitude and mountainous conditions. Worst is that most of them caught a cold on arrival. While inspecting them one could see the long greenish squishy liquid oozing out of their noses. I used to call the nursing assistant and tell him to give a few “paracetamols’ each for one week and report back when their noses were nice and shiny having acclimatised with cold conditions and altitude. Then only they were ready to feast on. Meat and rum issue was ultimate.

In high altitude one got used to tinned rations. Given a choice the companies would tin anything that moved. We had tinned tuna, meat and chicken in all forms, all fruits including some I had never heard the names of, in sweet sticky syrup. Then there used to be lot of this dry stuff. Dry and dehydrated onions, garlic, ginger, tomatoes, even egg powder. With egg powder we used to make tons of bujia for the whole company in the mornings. Beans never used to cook even after two days in a pressure cooker. Milk powder was used as “choona” to mark the volley ball court or make gulab jamuns. Dry fruits, no one cared to eat as they gave a bad rumbling tummy. Of course, how can I forget Milk Maid, the best of thing we used to enjoy! Condensed milk was the only reason to fight with my wife when she had joined me at Lukung post (Pangongtso) many many moons back.

Well, the last ten years I never had a chance to crib for what I ate, as I ate what I bought. I do not know is it psychological to say that the army rations were not good. I remember my wife being a good baker and used to make excellent cakes out of the tray of eggs we used to keep getting off and on, as I had declared myself a vegetarian as far as the free fauji rations were concerned. The extra milk always came in handy for puddings which are now off my menu as sugar is catching up but give me tipsy, I shall break all rules and to hell with sugar.

So my dear fauji folks, you guys may have to survive on “Maggie” of the Ramdev kind in peace stations. The calculations of ration allowance with the taxes being cut at source due to the implementation of the GST would be good enough to get half a plate of Gol Guppas per week. The issue is when you get rations you crib, now that you won’t get rations there is more to crib about. This will help all of us to take care of the indigestion which is going to be a fall out of the free ration ban.

Modi ji ka lamba bhashan aur fauj ka tagra ration (Modiji’s long speech and army’s strong ration) have no meaning whatsoever, sab dikhava (all show biz). As the saying goes, atta bhi mehnga, chini bhi mehengi, mehanga har saman, fir bhi mera Bharat Mahan. Achhe din kab ayenge? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

TRUMP’S TRUMPET AND MODI’S FLUTE

The whole world is worried what Donald Trump is going to do next. Indians are worried because they might have to take a long break again maybe because their green cards may be cancelled. The H1B types are worried that they might be sent back earlier than they thought. Some who were about to get employed are sweating as their dreams would have to be put on hold. Those few countries which have been banned from entry and their immigrants now are shell shocked. We are still not aware of the “TRUMP CARD” which finally will be played like while playing cards. Is he right? Is he wrong? Is he being immature? Is he violating norms? Well, who am I to judge or tell. He had warned the world through his speeches what he would do if he comes to office, so rather than preparing for all that everyone took their chances to wait and see whether he really meant what he said or just said it not meant it. I feel if he is a true patriot and an American well wisher, above all he has been elected to that great office by American people. Then why this hullabaloo when one has to not only lose a trick but give away the hand for a” two of spades” though you had the Ace of hearts with you. He has not shown his complete cards as yet so let us hold our horses. Like Kenny Rogers sang about an expert gambler, we must know when to hold them, when to fold them and know when to run.

Well, I have never been a fan of US, nor have I been very impressed what they do for their own interests. I being a veteran of the armed forces have seen them biting the dirt from Vietnam, Korea, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, as NATO forces, now their fight with ISIS. Well, Mr Trump, you need to play your Ace now if you think you can really eliminate this ISIS menace, but if you are not going to bring any war you started to its culmination then don’t start it. One exception was with Japan, when they were “NUKED” by the US to stop the war because they had been caught with their pants down. Russia you could not tame or even threaten. The dirty game you played in Pakistan, knowing full well they are liars of the highest order. China you cannot touch as they are too smart for you to even think what they might do next. The only thing you can do is to control printing of dollars as it is the currency of the world. US is the biggest defaulter for payments to the UN, so there is nothing new if payments are further reduced.

Let me in the same breath let my countrymen know, that if I have understood this man correctly, then Mr Modi, or Mr Nomodi makes no difference to him. He will see US first. So my dear Indians if he tells you to pack your bags don’t feel bad, because you never saw it coming. Don’t take him for granted, and be prepared to return to your motherland if required. At least buy one house or a flat even if you are a NRI. In case you all continue to stay on, put this house on rent and give the money to Ex- Servicemen welfare fund yaar. Here the PM is giving surprise after surprise, I am sure, Mr Jaitley, would have poured a lot out of his kateley by now in his budget speech for most of us to wonder are we earning just to pay taxes for the corrupt to feed on them. Our PM is seeing inwards so what is wrong with Trump blowing his Trumpet. Let him also feel the power of being the President of one of the most powerful nations. The only difference is that he has started from day one.

Be that as it may, let us take a good lesson from Trump’s trumpet folks. Let us Indians play our own “Bansuri”. In fact let us play all our instruments in unison, in symphony, in harmony, to ensure that India is heard for its melodious tunes. We have to perform as a synchronised orchestra for the world where they should feel that if even one instrument is off note from India the music heard across the world should turn into noise. Let the world ensure they give us the time and space to enjoy the melodies of our policies and thinking. May the world benefit and be healed through our music of growth and investments. May our neighbour understand our musical notes and bring peace and tranquillity in this region. Let music be the food of love for us to play on.

I drifted again from Donald ji to Modi ji to tabla and bansuri. What trump is playing is his instrument and his own cards because he knows the world has little or no choice as of now but to dance to his tune. When will we as Indians have such a music conductor, who writes the notes that the entire world has no choice but to listen to us, I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

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