Noel Ellis's Official Blog

I wield the pen to explore the vastness of the human mind

Tag: MP

CHAI PAKORA TALES

http://hongrie-gourmande.com/frensis/2708 I came across a byte how the “pakorawala’s” shot into fame when they were mentioned in certain despatches in the Rajya Sabha. The famous “chaiwala” has already left a mark and now is a chance for this man to come to lime light. I saw many news anchors; mind you head of news channels going around their studios tasting various types of pakoras made by these hard working simpletons. I am convinced that to become successful in this country one has to either become a chaiwala or a pakorawala. This reminded me of days many moons back when “khalis doodh ki cha” and “garma garam pakoras” were in vogue.

http://curemito.org/estorke/4066

see url I honed my skills of making chai as a little boy. The cuppa tea I used to brew used to be one litre of pure “bhains” milk, two big table spoons of tea leaves, two green elaichi’s nice and crushed in a “kharal”, four or five big spoons full of sugar and boil all these together. Tea used to be a minimum “dus ubala” which meant the concoction used to rise and fall at full heat in the “degchi” ten times. The dancing tea leaves would come up to the brim and then I used to lift the vessel off the “pump wala stove” to let it settle down and repeat. Then put one tea spoon of tea leaves in the “channi” and pour the liquid into my mug enamel. The brownish colour used change to coffee colour and that’s what I called a good cuppa steaming hot tea.

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enter Well, if chai comes can pakoras be far behind. My favourite used to be bread pakoras. The “besan” coated ones I used to relish “aloo bhar ke”. All these were deep fried and in fact in the good old days it used to be in Dalda or Rath ghee. I recall dalda used to be a yellow colour tin with a few palm trees and Rath used to be a sky blue one with a chariot printed on it. Later they started calling it vanaspati, I couldn’t make out the difference. Much later refined oil came in. Today, if you tell the doctor that I had ghee, he will start looking at his watch as if my time to walk this earth is over.

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buy Lyrica belfast They say that my dad’s era used to be of desi ghee, my era was of dalda and the present generation are the refined oil kinds. Meaning that all the desi ghee kinds were strong and hard working, the dalda kinds worked hard but the refined oil ones just don’t (pun intended). Never heard my dad or grand dad fall ill or had cold or cough. Their sweet dish used to be a hot cup of sweetened milk with a big spoon of desi ghee and a dash of haldi. Halwa of any kind meant ghee floating on top. “Tarka” meant shudh home made desi ghee ka tarka. Roti always had ghee “chipor” ke.

http://davisslater.com/ficeryw/2902

opções binárias no brasil I remember in my ancestral home town doodh & jalebi made in pure ghee used to be a staple breakfast. There used to be long queues to get that crispy, juicy, entangled piece of sweet. The way the halwai used to “fainto” the milk and jalebi’s together was a treat to watch. The milk used to drop more than a meter and a half & not a drop used to spill. The attraction to eat was not only to do with the taste but the presentation of the milky wonder.

In Punjab it used to “chola bhaturas”. Deep fried ones in ghee. The small flour ball was pressed and lifted in the palm. Two or three claps of the hands used to turn it into a bhatura. Then with an artistic throw in the piping hot Jacuzzi of ghee with the anti clock wise rotation it used to be chucked in. Swirling and turning as it went down. Before the bhatura hit the bottom of the “kadhai” it used to start rising. A huge sieve used to press upon it. Out of the bubbling ghee used to pop a crispy bhatura which was flipped in style while the next one was thrown in. All of us used to wait for our turn, mouth salivating all this while.

One could never master was the chutney these “rehriwala’s” used to make. Mom could never replicate that taste. Their green and red chutney was different from our home made ones. Everything was served on a “pattal” and licked clean by us. At the end of it asking for additional free chutney was our birth right. The “committee ka nalka” was the only source of water for the burns in the mouth. If we were lucky, it used to be a bottle of “milk badam” or “bante wala soda” from the next thela.

Life has moved on, the place where I am is “vada pao” and “kanda bhajia” territory. Let me assure you the taste is out of the world. Order a plate and you will repeat the order before finishing it. I dare say should these pakorawals go on strike; there will be hell to pay. Will they be able to live a life of dignity as was mentioned in the august house? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

PRIME MINISTER OF GUJARAT HAS WON

I have a basic doubt, what is the difference between elections and democracy? I fully understand that the elections are a means to elect candidates to run the democratic process. However, I have now got confused, why we are mixing up the two. The electoral process has its own importance and democracy is a way of governance adopted by the people of India. Then why have state elections become more important today that the PM and his cabinet congregate in Gujarat lock, stock and barrel for days on end leaving their primary jobs.

Parliament, our temple of democracy, was abandoned in a way. If I put it across crudely, to hell with parliament! We shall get hold of its agenda in the coming sessions. What goes of India if sessions have to be cut short, postponed or even cancelled? Parliamentary proceedings will be stalled by someone as usual, so what is the use of wasting time sitting on those green or red cushions and walk on the same colour carpets depending on the house you are a member of. India is resilient, Indians can wait, India per say is not a priority during any state elections. Is this the whole idea of democracy or is this a kind of making a mockery of it?

The pradhan sewak, becomes the pradan bhashanwala. The same old rhetoric, the same old jumlas, the same old brain washing technique is applied to influence the public. Results show the effect. I still don’t know who are the actual contestants is Gujarat. The only one I saw was the PM. He is fluent with the local language, terrain, intricacies, feelings, sensitivities of the public no doubt. Does that mean he should neglect his basic responsibility and only pay heed to states undergoing polls so that by hook or crook his party wins? I am in total disagreement on this.

My argument can be shot down saying all official papers and documents were signed during election time. However, the impression I get as a common man is that every minister is on temporary duty to Gujarat, on the government’s expense. The dak from Delhi must be transiting through air, land or sea along with connected personnel. Tickets of Rajdhani’s and last minute air tickets must be costing the exchequer some amount. All the DRM (Divisional Railway Manager) quota seats of the railways must be blocked for travel conveniences’ of such staff. Imagine when the heads of important ministries like Defence, Finance, Law, Textile and many others have pitched their tents in Gujarat?

Be that as it may, it hardly matters to mantri ji as things in India can wait till cows come home. India won’t run away anywhere. Even when Pakistan slaps us daily, elections are priority one and democracy will decide how to act against Pakistan in due course of time. Today, BJP netas would be in their party offices in party mood, enjoying one more holiday. Crackers will be burst. Supreme Court will not object to the pollution they shall create today, that’s another irony.

I consider it the failure of the states politicians to allow the central govt getting involved in their elections. Definitely they can go and cast their vote if they belong to a state but it should be on proper leave of absence and on their own money. No one has the right to fritter away the tax payer’s hard earned money. So what he is the PM of India? If he is doing it for the nation, I have no objections to it. If he is doing it for his party then he might as well use party funds only. I consider it a narrow minded vision of interfering in state politics from where he rose to such an esteemed office. For me the nation comes first always and every time; state will automatically be looked after if national interest is supreme.

In the army, if I belong to a battalion then that affiliation will stay for life. After I command my unit (like you became the CM of your state) I get promoted to higher ranks and responsibilities, I cannot get involved in the units day to day functioning. I can go and motivate the unit alright but I have no right to meddle into their day to day functioning. PM saab you now are a “General” of India, please remain at that pedestal. Let the people of the state decide whom they want to be governed by and not by whom you as PM recommend. Mota bhai, tamne samjan padi? (Have you understood elder brother?)

Can we have a new legislation through a “democratic process” of non involvement of PM and his cabinet in state elections? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

POLITICAL KABADDI

I had just finished watching the Kabaddi match last night, which is far better than watching the “kabaddi on news debates. My instinct told me that the match between “BJP Lotus Giants” and “Congress Handcrafters” being held in the polling stadium of Gujarat for the famous of Rajay Sabha Cup from where three members were going to be selected for the national team is going to be interesting. There were various reporters spread all over India taking reactions from spectators. Some of the anchors had already declared the results prematurely. There were political experts on every channel trying to give out all kinds of opinions like the good old Lala Amarnath. Tension was in the air. There were players who were surrounding the third umpire’s office as some controversy had erupted. The final results were to be declared after the third umpire “The Election Commission” would have reviewed each and every move replayed in “slowmo” from every angle. The situation was touch and go.

Well, my patience ran out and I went off to sleep. This morning I found that the unpredictable happened due to “Duckworth Achal Joti” method. The Lotus giants who were expecting a clean sweep lost one seat to the Handcrafters. What difference does it make in the Rajay Sabha? I don’t know. But after this round I know that congress has already declared a definite victory in Gujarat in 2019. We all know “there is many a slip between the cup and the lip”. Till the time the game is fair and square may the best team win; if my constitutional bodies aka referees abide by the rules, I shall have all praises for them because I know my country is in safe hands.

Be that as it may, come to speak of fairness, honesty, integrity etc my instinct to trust our political set up has gone totally wonky. I don’t know why. The congress had huddled together their MLCs in Bangalore and released them on voting day and still some cross voted it seems. The rumors that they can be bought at a price by the opposition were hot. How far they are true I can’t speak with authenticity. But there is no smoke without fire is also true. Does it mean that the value of this politician is just those few crore rupees? Is this what we have fallen to? His Zameer and conscious is for sale. If this is how I am going to earn a living then what am I going to do when I sit in parliament. Naturally, I will loot my country any which way I can. If money is the criterion to sell off my soul then this country has a very faint chance to dream of “acche din”.

The icing of the cake would be if one of the two people elected yesterday from the Lotus Giants is made the Defence Minister of India. One is already a minister so chances are that the present portfolio with that minister continues, I am worried about the other one. I will have no choice but to accept him as that’s the law of the land. So, all my brothers in uniform I wish you luck. PM Sahib, I still insist you have people qualified with more than 40 years of service in Defence of the nation, please be fair and do justice. Am I asking for too much? Let me not drift into my dreamland again.

I am still not clear as to why do we join a political party and have loyalties depending upon the price offered by another party. How can we switch at a moment’s notice? Why do political parties fear that their workers will change teams? Is there nothing called trust left in this nation? Do we need to use unfair means to woo people to defect? Should false promises and hopes still have place in our political system? The larger issue is, are we building this country or ruining it? If we are ourselves not sure on which side we are going to stand then when it will come to decision making for the poor and common man our decisions will be biased based on who offers us the best returns. We are corrupting this system at the highest level and then we are expecting the lower levels to be the most honest people. How can this be possible? My disillusionment for the political class keeps getting deeper. I am now convinced that money makes the mare go.

Thank God a few institutions are still upholding the Constitution of India. Otherwise this country if left to the people who know how to manipulate the system would have sold this country out by now. I was amazed to hear the hard work and toil the political workers were claiming to have done. The midnight oil that they burnt as if they were going to sort out Pakistan. They claim to have won a battle and appeared fatigued sitting in their offices and roaming the streets as aimless nomadic workers. The bursting of crackers and dancing on the streets was as if the enemy had been conquered. The rejoicing and celebrations continued through the night. Who paid for all that? Someone needs to take an account of that too. I see the waste of money in every electoral process irrespective of the political inclinations and affiliations.

Well folks, I am now looking forward to more Kabaddi of the political kind in 2019. Will I see team Lotus Giants lifting the “acche din cup”? I don’t know. Do the Handcrafters stand a chance to bounce back, I have my serious doubts, is there any other team capable enough, I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

SACHIN PRESENT SIR REKHA PRESENT MAM

It was sad to hear when Sachin and Rekha were made punching bags by media lately. Everyone was after their blood to quit their Rajya Sabha seats for absenteeism. News has to be created out of thin air thus media went hammer and tongs after them. Now that they are parliamentarians too, so why not take pot shots at them. Teer nishane par lag gaya to theek, nahi laga to Wah.

Sachin has been a heart throb of every Indian irrespective of caste, creed, age, religion, region and language. His religion was cricket, his cast was Indian, his creed was batsman, he spoke through his bat and the beauty was it was understood by everyone without an interpreter. His age was timeless and no one wanted him to retire. His time spent on the field for this nation need not be counted. The sweat, blood, injuries, sacrifices for the country he made was nothing but his dedication and devotion. That is why he was called the God of cricket. It was his character, his humbleness, his records, his fan following and support which got him the coveted Bharat Ratna. Isn’t this enough to grant this man his due? He does what he knows best, that’s why he is a master blaster. Could you have found anyone better than him excelling in the sports field?

A word about Rekha, she was my personal favourite in the good old days. I haven’t seen her much in the recent days as my interest in movies has dwindled drastically. All said and done she stole the hearts of many of us. Men with dropped jaws, women with wide eyes and gaping mouths have always admired her ageless beauty. This lady also transformed from a typical small time actress to being a super star of her times by sheer hard work. Age defies her. Her work and dancing skills are still a matter of awe for many. From 1966 to 2017 almost 50 years she has been entertaining you and me. She is also a recipient of the coveted Padam Shri award. What else do you need from her in parliament? She doesn’t like the same old boring story being repeated daily, with the same old actors and directors in the parliament. She seems to dislike her role due in the political amphitheatre.

Parliament on the other hand is justified to ask for their presence. They can question them for the pay and perks which members of the upper house enjoy. Frankly, will it matter to them if you withdraw their pay and allowances? Each signature Sachin does for charity fetches more than his monthly perks as an MP. Each sari which Rekha wears or for that matter every piece of jewellery she adorns may be equivalent to many months pay of a few parliamentarians. It will not make an iota of difference in their earnings. The benevolent causes they may have taken up, the charity they must be doing, I am sure they would be using what the government is paying them for all such noble causes. By the way I don’t mind paying my taxes for such outstanding sportspersons and actors. They have done it for us and now it is our turn to pay them back which is the least we can do, I feel.

Let me then question the parliamentarians, that sirs what do you discuss all day in the august houses. The speaker except for shutting you folks up and trying to listen to someone somewhere trying to put across a point has to ultimately adjourn session after session because of the indiscipline of you people. You don’t follow the decorum of the temple of democracy, you shout slogans and abuses. You throw chairs, mikes and tables at each other, you watch porn inside the house, you people just don’t like to listen to the arguments or debate, on top of that you guys sleep and snore. Is it correct sirs?

One stone on Rahul Gandhi’s car becomes an issue for a walk out, doesn’t he understand that people of India are giving him a message. No one talks of stone pelters of Kashmir though. One IT raid on a leader’s house brings all proceedings to a grinding halt. The common man doesn’t know what to expect from you guys. Will you let it function or will you just disrupt proceedings. If there is so much of unruliness in your behaviour why expect people like Sachin and Rekha to waste their time looking at the tamasha unfolding. Last day of a session you realise many bills need to be passed. First bill to be passed is about your pay hike like first day first show, or an opener hitting first ball six. So let Sachin and Rekha enjoy their innings. They are not the first ones to elude your noble company.

Both these personalities come from a field which needs discipline, which works on perfect timings; you have to give a perfect shot. It might be in cricket or the screen. Your moves have to be just right. Your decisions are split second. Your memory and instincts to play the game have to be perfect with no scope of errors. In their professions one cannot cheat, where as in parliament I see it happening otherwise. This political drama plays with emotions of the common man, with their sentiments. You play to divide not to unite the population. A game lasts for either a fixed time or overs; a movie lasts a stipulated time but drama of the political nature has no fixed time, date, or direction. The aim of actors and sportspersons is to entertain people to win their hearts; the entertainment value of parliament is for selfish gains of votes. Aim of the player is to win but if he loses he has to show the sportsman spirit of being a good loser. In parliament the looser lacks this spirit. The loser knows he is wrong but due to the immunity parliament gives him he speaks and gets away with anything. Is it correct?

Both these personalities I mention are icons of their own kind. Show me one in parliament worth that praise. They have been from heartthrobs to divas for many a people. They have been leaders in their own fields. They have captained their sides well. They have saved many games and movies single handed due to their mere presence. They have made us Indians proud with their positive approach to their professions. The dedication they show and the perseverance with which they maintain themselves to stay fit to play and act another day is incomparable.  Let us leave them alone.

I also want to suggest that instead of getting after their attendance, get after the parliamentarians to stop disrupting everyday for reasons which have no relevance. Fine those who break rules. Discipline those who take law into their own hands. Like we keep essence and fragrances to top up our puddings, let Rekha and Sachin be those flavoured sprinklings. Once in awhile when they come to the parliament it should be enough to enhance the taste and flavour of the Khichri the parliamentarians’ cook every day. Am I asking for too much, I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

“NETA” AS PERCEIVED BY MOST OF US

Why do I get this feeling as I see things today that politics is not for the faint hearted? I am convinced, politics cannot just be done if you are poor. You have to be influential and have inroads to senior political bosses. It also implies that to prove your worth you have to be a sort of informer against the opposition people of your area to gain brownie points. Politics appears to be a profession rather than a service to the nation. You should also have a good social network to feel the pulse at the ground level. The pulse of the government machinery cannot be neglected in any case. There has to be a goonda kind of element attached in the people you employ to bulldoze through toll booths. If the Neta can afford bouncers, nothing like it. The topping of the pudding is to have a personal security guard from the state police. Then you may be an elected or a rejected politician, the toll is waived off as a policeman in the car is exempted paying toll while in uniform and on duty.

You also need to be connected with all the industries in your area to extract whatever you can in the name of welfare, CSR or any other thing which anyone can give for free  called chanda, hafta or Diwali gifts. The builder lobby and all other mafias have to be part of his coterie for not only demanding sponsorships for various functions but also to dispose of surplus income before it gets liquidated by the investigating agencies. One has to have multiple residences, companies, and other properties both in your name and benami to camouflage and give safe heavens to hide documents and cash. For all this you need a fleet of vehicles, for that you need drivers, for that you need a “munshi” to organise this fleet. To run the vehicles you need a petrol pump. You definitely need certain loyalists who are willing to go behind bars for you, just in case.

To feed this army of people you need a langar, to fund and fuel the langar you need farmers as sponsors or else you become a farmer and acquire farming land. All this looks a bit complicated to me. To organise such a disorganised Mehakma one needs real political acumen. When you have all this you then become a Neta. Generally attired in white, tilak on the forehead, a few heavy rings on the fingers, someone carrying the phone, someone carrying a diary, someone video graphing the meetings and someone whispering in your ear something while you sit on the dais, above all, a garland around your neck.

Modiji if I may ask you why you need to generate employment elsewhere. You go to any village or town you’ll find hordes of unemployed people ready to jump into politics. The amount of entrepreneurial jobs you will generate is tremendous. The khadi industry will flourish with so many flags and posters to be printed and displayed. Imagine so many dharnas to be organised, so many rallies to be gone through, so many protesters will get a free meal, some money & employment. The tent house wala will be more than happy, the transport wala will be on top of the world, the vada-pav centre will work overtime and the milkman will be busy supplying milk to the “chai-wala”. What a chain reaction it is going to generate! Rather than wasting time empowering people and skilling them on all things sundry, why not skill them in politics? Party can be made later or for that matter if they want to join any existing one. Yes the only cap is on the total number of parliamentarians at state or central level, as their numbers are fixed. If you plan expansion in their numbers, imagine how many sarkari naukris will be created with pay perks and pension for life.

I am convinced that time now has come to increase their number in proportion to the population. With today’s population explosion politicians are rarely available to the public. They appear when the opposition has either goofed up or have a hidden agenda. He comes in a SUV with an open sunroof, announces on a mega phone certain inaudible things. I and my bai open our windows from the nineteenth floor, see some bald chap saying something, a few hundred people either leading his cavalcade or following it shouting FALAANA DHIMKANA KI JAI. He looks up, he waves, our bai waves vigorously back with a broad smile. I ask her kaun hai? (Who is he?) She says kya maloom (who knows), lagta to koi neta hai (appears to be a politician). I say balle-balle and go back to watch my cricket match.

Politics has never been my cup of tea. Thinking of it gives me nightmares. Hats off to all those who are in this field and also to those who are preparing to govern this country.  The visualisation of a politician today especially when I relate to these income tax raids being done on DKS, the image of the man I portray in the first few paragraphs starts taking shape. The folded hands, the innocent, holier than thou look, those plastic smiles, the media deluge, the blame game, the diversionary tactics, the twisting of the reality, avoiding arrest, the drama which unfolds and ruckus in parliament, starts confirming to me the common man that there can be no smoke without fire. Many Neta’s of my country are tainted has been proven beyond doubt. They swindle our hard earned money. They loot us and fill their coffers. How long and why? God knows!

I am waiting for the day when someone by mistake leaves in my house 100 crore rupees and never comes back to claim it. I shall wait for the day when my wife’s locker will start automatically spilling jewellery worth 100 crores. I will wait for the day when someone will write his will and make me the heir of ten shops, a few hotels, a house in every metro. Well, in hind sight, I don’t need all this at all. The 40 pots in my garden are more precious than any of this stuff. Each flower with blooms is more precious than any jewel.

I wish the Neta’s and would be Neta’s luck. Friends, please to do things legally, whichever party you belong to, spare me and my fellow countrymen. We are paying for your salary. We don’t want to pay for your greed. Instead give it to charity, give it to the needy. The blessings you will receive in form of votes in your next elections will help you. Can our Neta’s change this image? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

IN CASH AND BODY BAGS A SOLDIER PAYS HIS TAXES

 

I was going through the summary of the GST bill sent to me on social media. I came to know that it has been tabled as a “money bill”. Well it is all about money going out of my pocket so I tried to find out what does it mean. Folks I gave up moment I saw the text of the money bill. I suggest don’t waste your time looking at it. The gist is that Rajya Sabha has just to go through certain paces for formality sake on such bills. People there may fret and fume and pick faults in the bill but the last laugh will be had by Sir Jaitley and his team in the Lok Sabha as they can show a “THENGA” to the upper house. What the states are going to do is obviously clear. Resistance might be there from only non BJP states, so dear common man will it be good, bad or ugly for you, time will tell.

Be that as it may. I would like to know, will there be only one tax on my Colgate and Thums up? Not that I use any. Will my carry home income increase with this bill? Will my income tax reduce? Will goods be cheaper? Will availability of items increase from the PM to my Bai who may prefer to use a “daatun” instead of paste. For PM Sahib it is herbal and natural besides Baba Ramdev recommends it and for my bai it’s free and readily available from the jungle. No VAT and this that needs to be paid.

FM Sahib, you pay me a pay/pension depending whether I am serving or retired and you tax it at source. I have no issues with that. Then you lay down how much will be tax free and how much won’t be. No issues with that too. Then you lay down income slabs on a sliding scale, I grant you that also. You also give me ways and means to save my money under 80-100cc category or whatever. Tell me one thing, if I have to earn to save why I earn in the first instant. If I have to earn and put it back in a scheme then why is my pay scale fixed? Why don’t you lay down that this much amount will be reduced, this will be put in compulsory saving till you retire, and this much I will take back for the government? Period! Why do you want me to fill forms and show you how much you gave me and how much I owe you and how much I have paid you back, and in case if I don’t pay by 31st March you further add a penalty to it. What nonsense this is! My pay scales are fixed by you, then why keep deducting. Do it once for all and save me this tension of filing returns. Half the times I am posted at places where you don’t provide me the net and most of the times how hard I try I can’t make out head or tail what to fill in where, though you claim filing is a cake walk. My foot! Please save me this agony also sir like you are doing for the GST. Tax me once and then let me relax for life time.

I have some more issues with you sir. OK fine you tax my pay, pension now you tax my pension plus pay as I am now working for a corporate. Firstly, you put me at a disadvantage when I come to the civil world as I am seen as a person with double income. They don’t realise I gave 25 years or more for this nation unflinchingly and earned my pension. Secondly, certain people don’t want to pay taxes as they say most of it goes in the pay and pensions of people like me and the balance goes to feed all “sarkari damads” like the parliamentarians. Out of every rupee only some part reaches the beneficiary rest is siphoned off due to your enacted laws and poor administrative controls. I can forgive them as they know not what they say about me but you all need to find answers for your part.

If I have paid you the tax which was due on my pay and say I save some of it which I put it in FD, you charge me tax on its interest also. What the hell? Then you add that interest to my rest of the income and tax it again. If the scale tips over to the next tax bracket there is a quantum jump on the tax which I have to dish out. I decide to buy a house from my savings. I pay you tax again including all swach bharat, beti parhao, kissan cess etc. The bank’s loan me the amount and charge me interest where as my pay comes in that bank only.  You give me a tax rebate equivalent to peanuts on housing loan, where do I go? When builders fund you and your parties then no one opens his mouth but the builder opens his mouth wide when he charges me with all taxes and cess’ and half the thing he wants under the table. I buy a vehicle and for that I pay registration fee, insurance, road tax, environment tax and you name it. I paid so much of income tax to built roads then you charge me road tax besides you don’t let me off without paying toll tax too. Is it right? I go to a dhaba I pay no taxes on what I eat. I go to a restaurant and the last five lines are taxes and charges for what I ate. Depending on the type of eatery, they charge many times the amount for the ambiance and a waiter and you want me to pay the government of India for giving my daughter a treat. Isn’t it ironical FM sahib? I don’t mind paying for a rail ticket as the railways have definitely improved; unfortunately there has been an accident today.

If you really see the soldiers, they actually are paying taxes to the nation by putting their lives at stake for you people who don’t understand their worth and treat them as cannon fodder. One political decision to sort out Kashmir has been delayed by you for donkey’s years. How many more body bags would be sufficient? How many lost legs and limbs do you want? How many widows and orphans do you want for this nation to run in terms of taxes my dear sirs? Don’t we protect you in the close cordons when you as MPs move around in bullet proof cars? A man hangs on to a modified footrest to protect you and still you want us to pay taxes. If you are the chosen one of the people why do you need any protection from your own people?

You have one rank called MP, with one pay and one pension. You thrive on our money and want us to pay you both in cash and body count, how sad! You keep getting paid as you never feel like retiring. We soldiers take oath to dedicate ourselves to the nation even at the peril of our lives and you people want us to perpetually remain in peril and continue to be martyred without you people being harmed. We obey the rules laid down by you and you snatch away what we earn. We are still magnanimous to give you back enough in taxes and personal sacrifices, which you mismanage for obvious reasons. Some of us luckily survived, we have grown old and weak and silently sit at Jantar Mantar peacefully to make you realise that it is high time you gave us our due sirs. Are you listening yea members of parliament? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

THE MP WHO EVAPORATED IN THIN AIR

Munni badnaam hui for her darling, Sheila shot to fame for her jawani and now this “Chappal Dhari” (shoe wielding) MP has earned a name for introducing a new weapon. Going by my hunch he may not surface till the time he finishes his MPs tenure. I am not worried where he is hiding but I am worried about my tax going in to feed him as his pay during this period of hibernation. I do not know the rules if a MPs pay can be stopped but one thing is sure that this man is taking our whole system for a ride. I would not talk about his intelligence levels and IQ as that was amply demonstrated in his conversations with the media. Today I want to discuss as to why we all are tolerating such nonsense.

Where is the patriotic brigade? Where are the by the people, of the people and for the people crusaders? I as a “people” voted him to be an MP and now he beats “people” who promise him a safe journey in the air. He has the audacity to mistreat those people who look into every facet of his travel.  It was also not surprising that other MPs where crying in his favour in parliament that this is setting a wrong precedence if airlines start banning other MPs too. You people make laws for us then why are laws not applicable to you too? You can’t be a lifelong “ghar jamai” that you will be shielded behind Mom-in-law’s pallu. You can’t hide behind the rule book stating that you have immunity of kinds. I am convinced that this man is sick, irrespective of the party he belongs to. His mentality is questionable. He definitely needs psychiatric treatment. He should render an unconditional apology or else debar him from contesting elections for life. Further, he should visit the airlines and beg that old man’s pardons who he misbehaved with, beside a promise to never repeat it again. Had a brawl occurred, the airline staffer would have been in the clink by now irrespective who was at fault.

This MP should have been given an exclusive seat in the toilet and locked from outside and told that the only business class exclusive seat available is in a little darkness. However there are many switches and gadgets to play around with. In case you feel very uncomfortable just press the flush button a little hard, you too shall be sucked into the holding tank. I am sure an exclusive swimming pool in the aircraft would make you feel that you really are travelling the class you wanted to travel in. Had I been there, I would have taken him to the plane going to the Leh and handed him over to the crew with instructions to off load him there and tell him Sir this is Delhi. Your chauffer driven vehicle would be standing at the exit. He then should have been put in the kerosene truck to be dumped at Khardungla and beyond. All his business etiquettes’ would be revised within the first half an hour. He will never forget that ride as his skin and bones would be soaked in kerosene and smell for months to come.

Issue is how can such people be tolerated? Why should such people be tolerated? How can such people be put in place? How can they be taught a lesson so that no other MP ever dares to do anything of such kind? Why are the law makers out of the ambit of the police, judiciary and law when the need arises? Why can’t courts take notice straight away? Why can’t his pay, perks and privileges be forfeited with immediate effect? Or shall we wait till the courts decide who the actual culprit is. This man will become a hero by dramatising his surrendering under heavy police bandobast with scores of his chela-chapatas creating a scene as if a hero is coming home after winning a battle. Situation will be made purposefully tense. Media will be focussing on every window of every car and every door which opens. Reporters spread all around will pick up every squeak, whine and yell to justify their presence in covering the arrest of a chappal dhari MP. Some channels will go to the extent to find out alternate uses of chappals as a weapon and make mock war rooms with military experts to comment on non lethal weapons with special sounds and visual effects.

It is surprising no one knows where he is, “Use asmaan kha gaya ya dharti nigal gayi” (Has he been eaten by the sky or swallowed by the earth). I am sure he is having a good laugh. Why is the Media not on his tail? The media today is capable of getting a photograph of IPL Modi drying his underwear on a remote island of Bali, why they can’t find Mr Chappal dhari in his hibernation. When one is in trouble, you go underground till the media glare fades away and then suddenly you surface and start doing your normal business like every day? How can the police be oblivious to his whereabouts? What orders are the police waiting for? Can’t cell phones be tracked? Well, one thing is clear; the political class is too powerful and influential to meddle with. They can bake a cake and have it too.

Overall if we see all chaos which is being done today is due to flawed politics. Cheap popularity, Goonda antics, inciting public, communal divides, circumventing law, taking law into your own hands, above all leaving the public to fend for themselves is name of their game.  They just want to score brownie points and keep blaming each other. I do not know when & how this is going to end. I only hope our nations keepers do not slip into slumber or else such menace will spread to each and every corner of this country. We have already seen the moral policing brigade, beef ban brigade and soon we shall see such joota-chappal brigades, stone pelting brigade and many others harming this country slowly but surely like slow poison. Will we wake up fellow countrymen? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND

© Noel Ellis

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